Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in Promises and Connections

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Aasrel Izei (Chief Medical Officer) in Promises and Connections

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in Promises and Connections
Posted by… suppressed (51) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Aasrel grinned. “I know just the thing. Wait till I can take you.” He shrugged, “My PaDD maybe.”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany gave him a long warm look, Your thoughts are making me flush, Rel. She sauntered over to the door, “I’ll grab your PaDD and be back quick. Do you want me to send the nurse in?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel smiled. There was a strong sense of adoration and love. Wait till you find out what I have in mind. He watched her with a grin. “No, I’ll be alright for a little bit. Promise.”

~ Izei, CMO

My, my, Doc, are you making more promises? Her mental laughter danced between them as she left. She was gone about 20 minutes all told. She set a large tray down that had a Betazoid dish on it. She remembered him saying his mom used to make it and it was a favorite. She set his PaDD next to it. “So… what did I miss?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

He looked at the dish and then smiled. “You remembered! Thank you.” He said. He left his arm that had surgery laying over himself and used his good one to eat. “Nothing really. A nurse dropped by to take vitals. Then some ceiling watching.”

~ Izei, CMO

“Of course I remembered. Just be glad I didn’t try to cook it myself.” She sat down with her own meal and chuckled, “Well since you can sit up, how about a movie? You can pick. Or do you want to sleep some more?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel gave her a playful glare sort of look. “How much sleep do you think I need? I might as well go comatose.” He said and smiled. ” A movie is fine, but you pick. Show me one of those movies you talked about before.”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany thought for a moment, “The story follows a newspaperman as he tries to help a young heiress connect with her scheming fiance. It’s called It Happened One Night and it was produced in 1934.” Bethany moved the computer terminal around and searched the database for it. When she found it, she turned the lights down to make it easier to see and then sat back in her chair.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel settled in to watch the movie. Despite his complaints, he was asleep a third the way through, his empty dishes left in front of him. He slept peacefully for a while, and then woke suddenly, his first nightmare in a while.

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany moved the trays away and someone came in and took them at some point. She settled into the chair beside him and watched the movie. She let the familiarity soothe her, and was grateful for the lack of music that came along with the movie. When Aasrel woke, she was already sitting next to him holding his hand. It’s okay, Rel. I’m right here. It’s a nightmare. Come on, let me see those amazing eyes of yours.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel looked up at her. She could feel his fear, how upset he was. I’m okay. I just… I think it’s everything going on with me that caused it. He reached to hug her. How was the movie? I think I fell asleep… Sorry.

~ Izei, CMO

There’s those eyes. Bethant smiled at him and leaned in cliser, list in his eyes for a moment. That makes sense. It will probably happen again, but I will be here. With everything numb, Bethany felt better about stretching out on his left side and not hurting him. Don’t be sorry. You need your sleep so your body can heal. The movie was … soothing. It’s funny how seemingly unimportant things are comforting.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel pulled her in with his good arm and set his other one against her. He couldn’t feel it, but it made him feel like he was hugging her. It is. I think the most comforting things are those that seem unimportant.

~ Izei, CMO

He was hugging her. With the damaged nerves removed, he would have feeling again, just numb in some places. Probably because they are familiar. It was so different, coming off this assignment and having Aasrel with her. He had been on the mission too, but usually she came back and was alone to deal with it all. It was over whelming and emotional for her in a positive way. She tried not to think of it though, right now they needed to focus on him.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel heard her thoughts, he’d always been strong with telepathy. I’m going to be with you every time you come back… Though I hope you never get sent on a mission that I can’t follow you on. He said, resting his head against her. Just because this has happened doesn’t mean your emotions aren’t important.

~ Izei, CMO

I know. It’s just… Bethany’s arm tightened around him and she sat up. She felt cold and reached for her blanket before settling back. It’s hard for me, to come off the person’s. I’m not like other Intel officers. I’m an analyst, a computer hacker. I was lucky this time. I was myself, just a disloyal, treasonous version of me. It still takes me awhile to… to find myself again. I don’t know who that is now. I’m not me anymore. I’m everything I never was and don’t want. And no one can go in and just take it out and put me back the way I was. I look the same, but I look in the mirror and I hate what I see inside.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel saw a lot of parallels between that and his own problems. I know it’ll get better but you can talk to me in the meantime, you know. I don’t want you to suffer alone with it. He said, settling in against her again after she’d gotten up to get a blanket.

~ Izei, CMO

I know. It was clear she was confused and conflicted. Not over Aasrel but everything that had happened made her feel lost and adrift. I’ve never been very good at sharing. Well, sharing what matters. I’ve always had to stand on my own. Her face was pressed into his shoulder. They had promised to be open and forthcoming with each other. It had even been her idea to help him with his loss of empathy. Bethany wasn’t going back on that, but old habits, especially when she was afraid, were very hard to notice and change.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Do you want me to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings? Aasrel asked. There was care in his words. He was careful about what he listened to with her. She was not raised on Betazed, not raised with telepathy. She wasn’t used to people being able to hear her inner thoughts and feel her feelings. He didn’t want to be too invasive, he just wanted to help.

~ Izei, CMO

I don’t mind if you do. It’s just… I’m good at hiding things. I was trained not to let my thoughts leak or be read. I can even with stand a mind-meld to a certain point, but I’m not as adept at that as I am at keeping my thoughts and emotions contained. Honestly I may not even realize when I do it. I don’t want… She was rambling, even her thoughts, her emotions as well. Everything was a swirling vortex. His offer seemed foreign to her. She understood why he offered, she could even see the benefit of it from a clinical perspective. All that mattered to Bethany was it made her feel cared for. Please.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel smiled. Okay, I will. He leaned against her carefully. I missed telepathy so much, having it back is like a dream. He commented to her.

~ Izei, CMO

At least something good came of me being sick. I’m glad it helped you. She felt tired, but not physically, to him. There are a lot of Betazoids on the station. You should try to talk with them. Give you more practice before we go.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

There was hesitation in him, he didn’t know why. Maybe I will. He said, shrugging slightly. Having his telepathy back hadn’t erased his problems the way he’d hoped it would.

~ Izei, CMO

He could feel something in the back if her mind. Something that had made her curious but also very anxious, to the point of almost triggering panic. When he hesitated, she changed her mind. Instead she said, I thought it might be nice for you. All you have is me and I’m not very good at it.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

You’re getting better. Aasrel thought for a moment, she could hear his thoughts turning things over his mind. Then, I’ll do it if you go with.

~ Izei, CMO

She knew he was going to say that. It’s why she had this sick feeling in her stomach. Aasrel was accepting, that didn’t account for anyone else or the other experiences she had growing up. She wanted him to go. He missed it so much, and she was sure it would be a relief to not have to care for and protect her all the time. The idea of going, brought back some very painful memories. Of course.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

It’ll be fine, Aasrel said and smiled at her. This will be good experience for you before we go to Betazed. And I’ll be right there with you.

~ Izei, CMO

“I know.” Her head was tired. She knew he preferred telepathy, but speaking was easier for her. Physically she was in the best shape of her life. Mentally she was not. Emotionally she was a wreck. She did her best to hide it. She wasn’t sure why. It just seemed really important for her to do so.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

That was why Aasrel was glad she was okay with him keeping telepathic tabs on her. He’d know how she was. If she needed him or needed something else. He smiled at her. “It’ll be fun for both of us. I’m sure of it.”

~ Izei, CMO

“It will. I always have fun with you.” Then she laughed, fully amused. “I guess I will go shopping, I don’t have ‘date’ clothes, and I want to make an impression for our first one.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“I don’t have date clothes either,” Aasrel said with a shrug. “You should go shopping while I’m in surgery, take your mind off it.”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany sighed wistfully, “But you look so good in those pirate clothes.” She shook her head no. “I want to be here.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel laughed. “I could wear the pirate clothes, I still have them.” He said. He smiled at her. “Okay, I just thought it was a good idea. I mean, it’ll probably be another long one and you sitting here worrying won’t help.”

~ Izei, CMO

“Keep them, I like them on you,” she kissed his cheek and then sighed. If they were on the ship she might go back to her quarters or do work, but they weren’t allowed back on board yet. They did have temporary quarters… the idea of going out with all those people, alone, was daunting. She hated the feeling of anxiety it brought. She’d never been afraid to be around people, even when she knew there was danger. She was going to just have to push through it, she guessed. “Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel, in tune with her though as promised, looked at her. “Just like on the ship. Keep your focus. If you can’t focus on me then use something else.”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany shook her head, “Who would I focus on that wouldn’t be an invasion of their privacy? I don’t know anyone else. Even if I did,” she shook her head again, “I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that. Besides, you do most of the work.” He did too. Keeping everything so full of his thoughts nothing seemed to get through. It was very intimate and Bethany found the idea of asking anyone else to help her extremely repulsive. “Maybe I’ll ask for something to help me sleep.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“I didn’t mean another person,” Aasrel said gently. “But something to help you sleep would be most comfortable.” He looked up at her, “I just want you to be able to do things on your own, too.”

~ Izei, CMO

She smiled, but it looked tired. “I know. I’ll get there. It’s still very new for me.” Maybe she was too old to learn. If she couldn’t learn, he life was going to be drastically different than it used to be. “Maybe sleep would be best.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“You’re not too old to learn,” Aasrel said. He hugged her. “Maybe you should stay awake, stay near my things.”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany grinned, “You know I’m already addicted to you. If I’m hanging around your stuff when you aren’t around, people might think I’m obsessed and a stalker.” She hugged him tightly. She wanted him to have the surgery, but she was worried about him having a 3rd one in two days. She knew Martin wouldn’t do it if he thought it was overly risky, but she was still worried.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel smiled. “I was just thinking it would help a little.” She could tell he was worried about it too, three surgeries in two days was a lot to put a body through and it made it more dangerous. But Martin was going to do it and Aasrel wanted and needed it done. He hugged her as tightly as he could. “It’s going to be fine. I’ll be okay.”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany smiled. “It will help. I was just teasing.” She was in no hurry to get up or return to the pressing matters of debriefing. “I know you will. Martin is a good doctor, he’ll take care of you.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel nodded. “I know he will.” It was getting close to the time of the surgery and Aasrel was getting a little nervous about it. He rested against Bethany. “And then I’ll be better. Like you.”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany wasn’t better. She would never be herself again. She clamped down on that thought. Telepathy, empathy, was what Aasrel had wanted, needed more than anything. She was happy she was able to give him that back. Over the moon about it. That at least she had made a difference to someone she loved. But she wanted to be herself again. Aasrel was getting that. She was really happy for him, but she was bitter for herself. She hid it though.

Martin came in a few minutes later. He grinned at the two if them on the bed together. Bethany got up reluctantly and moved back to her chair.

“Well, it’s almost time. It will be a long procedure. But I need to know your wishes. If I can’t safely remove the nerves, or the damage is too extensive to fix. What do you want to do?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel looked at Bethany, “What do you think?” He was worried and stressed and while he was pretty sure he knew what she wanted him to say he couldn’t say it himself.

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany looked at him puzzled. She could feel his desire for her to say something but she didn’t know what. “I… I don’t know. I guess whatever you have to Dr. Martin. Whatever will give him the best recovery. I’m not sure what you mean.”

Martin sat down. “The damage into the nerves can’t be replaced. I haven’t looked at the microcellular damage that that nerve damage has done to the tissue around it. I should have, but it came to me after I had sleep. The grafts seem to be okay, but I am concerned that the blood marrow isn’t as active as it should be by now.” He looked at Aasrel, “You want to continue to serve, and I assume that means as a doctor. We can hold the surgery until we get those deeper scans and see what is going on with all the connected systems. Or we can go ahead with the surgery and find out as we go. But I need to know how much or how little you want done.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel frowned in thought. “How long would the scans take? I can’t lay around with no sensation in two of my limbs forever. I can’t risk it spreading. But how much.. more are we talking?”

~ Izei, CMO

“The scans will take about half an hour total. To run them and then for me to read them.” Martin sighed. “Worst case, we might have to remove the limb. If the bone and tissue is too damaged and the marrow isn’t functioning the leg could die. I don’t know if it is that bad.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

What would he tell Bethany to do? “Let’s get the scans first, then. It’ll be easier and safer than going in blind and changing course during the procedure.”

~ Izei, CMO

Martin called in a nurse. “We’ll take you to get the scans. They will be more detailed than the portable machines. Then I will have the nurses take you to the surgical suite and prep you. I will bring you the results before you go under.”

If it was Bethany, she would opt for the prosthetics. Even if she retired, she had enemies, there was always a chance that old cases would come back to haunt her. She had to be physically capable of dealing with it. She kissed him and squeezed his hand. Do what is best for you. I love you.

I love you too. He kissed her back. I’ll see you soon. He knew she would opt for the prosthetics, he was listening to her thoughts. Was it the right choice? Something told him it was.

They got Aasrel in the chair and took him for the scans.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Getting him into the chair was easy, and he was helping, he just needed a little assistance. The scans took just a few moments to take. In his leg, the microcellular damage was extensive around the nerves. The bone marrow still wasn’t as active as it should be and while the grafts seemed okay, they were no longer improving.

His arm was a similar story, severe damage to tissue surrounding the damaged nerves, stalled grafts, and no signs of improvement. If it weren’t for the nerve block, his pain would be worse than it had been. Pain meds would make it liveable, but he would be in intense pain most of the time for the rest of his life.

Removing the nerves might work, but he’d lose a lot of function in his limbs, likely enough to be discharged, even with physical therapy. There was a good chance, however, that everything was just too damaged and removing the nerves wouldn’t solve it.

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany did as Aasrel suggested. She went back to the quarters they were sharing. She tried to let the familiarity things focus her. Help pass the time. It didn’t. She was worried. Instead she slipped the sleevless leather jacket she gave him on, and went to the promenade.

Martin sat reading the results. He slammed his fist on the desk as Jake walked in. Jake knew that look. “You can’t change what his doctors did or did not do. You can only move forward. Their errors are not yours.”

Martin walked into the surgical suite. “It’s not good news.” He didn’t believe in sugar coating it. “The marrow has stopped working, and the bone is beginning to deteriorate. The grafts are holding, but they won’t heal any further. Removing the nerves will ease some of the pain, but it won’t stop it. Pain killers will manage, but you will never not be in pain. The muscle tissue is damaged. Even with physical therapy, you will be mobile, but the pain and damage is too extensive to continue to serve.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“So either I do the amputations and serve with prosthetics, or I get a medical discharge and live with chronic pain and reduced function. I couldn’t even be a civilian doctor, not with those results.” Aasrel was clearly not happy about it. He knew it wasn’t Doctor Martin’s fault though. The man had done nothing but try to help. He reached out for Bethany’s presence, for comfort.

Aasrel? What’s wrong? She couldn’t quite reach him, but she knew when he was there, in her head. It’s not good news. She knew that clearly. The only thing she could do was offer comfort. I love you no matter what.

No, it isn’t. She felt how upset he was. I love you.

I’ll be with you.

He knew what she would do for herself, what she would want him to do. She’d want him to pick what would give him a decent quality of life. And that wasn’t hanging on to limbs too damaged to save and live with. Prosthetics wouldn’t be a cakewalk either, they would need time to get prosthetics made and fitted and there would still be a lot of therapy to teach his body how to use the prosthetics, but the long term outlook would be better. He gave a long, tired sigh. “Do the amputations.”

~ Izei, CMO

Martin nodded. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Aasrel could feel his frustration and anger over the lack of care he had been given. He could hear the angry comments flitting through his head as well. The thing was, leaving the implants in would not have stopped this, the limbs would have died anyway, with very little, if any, warning. “I am sorry. I wish I had better news. On the positive side, we are on a Starbase. You’ll have prosthetics ready by the time you wake up. Starbase facilities are more prepared for these types of procedures than starships.”

The doctors would’ve liked that, Aasrel thought bitterly, because then it would be ‘necessary’. Nevermind the pain and suffering it would have caused him.

Martin placed the cortical unit. He gave him an apologetic look and then Aasrel went under.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Amputations were simple, easy surgeries, even with the prep for prosthetics. Aasrel’s body had been through so much though, that he was not reacting well to another surgery. He made it through, but it wasn’t looking good for a bit. The surgery was done carefully and it was successful. Several hours later, Aasrel was returned to recovery.

~ Izei, CMO

Martin stayed with him in post-op until he was sure he was going to be fine. He sent a nurse to let Bethany know he was out of surgery. The biomechanical engineer came up and fited Aasrel with prosthetics, matched skin tone and bioelectric frequency. They didn’t do any active tests, but left them attached and allowed the body to send signals as it wanted. When he was brought into recovery, Bethany was allowed to come back. He looked very pale to her. “Is he okay?”

“He will be, Bethany. Technically, medically it wasn’t a hard surgery, but it was for his body. He’s been through a lot. It’s going to take time. But he’s stable, and we are keeping a close eye on him. He’ll probably sleep for awhile. When he wakes up, he might have some pain. Ghost pain is what they call it. As the body adjusts. The prosthetics might twitch some, that’s okay. It’s syncing to his biosignature.”

Bethany sat down on his left and took his hand and rubbed her thumb over the back. I’m here, Rel. You’re going to be okay.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

As Martin predicted, he slept for a while. He did seem to respond, ever so slightly, to her touch and her mental voice. His prosthetics twitched occasionally, the fingers or toes moving slightly as his body and the prosthetics got used to each other. When he finally woke, he seemed tired and groggy. She could feel that he did have some pain, but that it wasn’t anything like before the surgery. The unfortunate part was the pain fooled Aasrel’s brain. When he woke and felt the pain, there was an excitement in him as he glanced groggily at Bethany and squeezed her hand. Could they save the limbs after all?

~ Izei, CMO