Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Chief Intelligence Officer) in Gadi’s Quarters- Commiseration

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in Gadi’s Quarters- Commiseration

Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Chief Intelligence Officer) in Gadi’s Quarters- Commiseration
Posted by… suppressed (12) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Calloway nodded. She had zero context when it came to whatever had bene happening with Dr. Izei, and understood also it wasn’t her place to pry. People didn’t exactly line up to share things with her around here. And that was fine by her.

She drank more from the glass, draining it and holding it out. There was more if they needed it, but something told her that one of them needed to be somewhat in control here. “Do you really see yourself as a freak? That others will too? Outside of this ship and a select few people, no one will know how you came to be as you are. unless you show them that.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Bethany reached over and filled her glass, giving her a curious look that suddenly cleared. “Oh,” she chuckled, “No not that. Before the blood transfusion. I’m disabled, a freak, malformed, abnormal, as far as Betazoid standards go. I’m half and have no telepathy and no empathy. They’d be so busy piting me, they wouldn’t notice him. Betazoids can forgive most things, accept most others, except when they see a flaw in their own genetic design.” She chugged several gulps of the whiskey.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“Eh, screw ‘em,” she said, taking a sip from the refilled glass. Her lilt and mannerism was suddenly very Elaine and Shara had to roll her shoulders to try and get the sensation out of her body. “I still think you should go visit your uncles if they are important to you. I wouldn’t worry about the extra time off. We’re owed so much at this point that they really can’t say no.” They both knew how short life was. You took your chances while you could.

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Bethany noticed the shift and waited for it to settle. She understood. “We’ll see.” Life was short, but there were other considerations now. She’d never been able to lie to her Uncles before, and they would know if she started now. She had to keep them safe. “They are very important to me, Shara, they are all I have, and I won’t risk them just because I’m homesick.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

She drew in a deep breath and Shara nodded. “I understand.” And she did. It was why she had kept her secret about Nadine for so many years. The less entanglements , the better. And now, with their latest insanity of a mission? She might be able to share some stuff with Faye, but not Nadine. She gulped the whiskey.

“I don’t know what to share with Nadine. Before I came to the Asimov, Faye and I had a pretty intense conversation over my ability to hide myself from people, even those I love. She wasn’t wrong. I regret a lot of that in the early days because it wasn’t necessary. I just was used to keeping everything to myself. That was safer than the alternative growing up. All these decades later and it’s hard to shake. When I get to see my girls again though, I don’t want to be a stranger to them Bethy,” she said, her voice catching. “But how can I be present with them after everything we’ve had to do. After I promised Faye I would never disappear again, and I promised Nadine I’d be there for her. She knows it’s for a good reason, but it still feels like I betrayed them both.” More whiskey slipped down her throat.

~Shara Calloway, CIO

“I understand, well, sort of. I don’t have children. Be as honest as you can, and the things you can’t talk about, simply say so. When you can’t put the mission out of your mind, at least you have Micah to help you through it.” She took a swig, “Unfortunately, we can keep promises, but they don’t always look like we want them to. That’s beyond your control, so do the best you can. You can always retire.” Bethany grinned, but there wasn’t a lot of humor in it. It was hard for people like them to retire, and there was always the chance of some past ‘issue’ rearing its head.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Shara grimace. “Ewww, no.” She almost shuddered. “Besides, Starfleet owes me a standard sort of mission of some kind first. The last one was definitely not that!”

She studied the liquor in her glass for a moment before taking another deep sip. “I suppose with Nadine it’s a matter of not wanting her to think less of me somehow. I have done a lot of stuff that others would find distasteful. I think Nadine understands that to a point, but she’s an elementary teacher. Her worldview is so much narrower than ours is. You and I know how gritty things are out here, and what that has required of us in this line of work. It’s not that Nadine is naive either. Micah and I have explained some of the realities of our work, but this time it feels different. Maybe because I came out of the shadows and it felt uncomfortably natural to slip back into them again.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Bethany nodded, “It’s so easy to go back, but so hard to come out.” She took a long swig of the bottle. If she kept that up, she’d be opening another one. Bethany didn’t seem to care. “You’ll never know how tough she is if you try to hide it. Sure,” she waved her hand in a drunken’ manner, “there are things you can’t say, but tell her what she asks. If she doesn’t, don’t tell. If she says she wants less or more, respect that. She’s an adult, it’s her choice.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Shara nodded and sighed, throwing more back. “Uggh. Sometimes there are things like this that remind me how little I’ve got to practice actually being a parent. It was different when Faye was younger. But then we had so much time apart and I never got to parent Nadine. What they need of me is so different as adults and I guess having lost my mother when I was a teen and having a crappy father means I don’t know what it all looks like,” she said with a bitter laugh. “What a strange realization to have in your sixties.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

When Shara mentiined her father, Bethany took several large swallows of the whiskey. “Revelations come when they come. Age has nothing to do with it.” Bethany leaned back, her head hanging over the back of the chair, “Maybe you should just ask them what they need. Let them think on it and then tell you. Maybe you can provide, maybe you can’t. But it sure as he’ll is easier than trying to guess what they are thinkin’ and feelin’.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

The whiskey was warm in her belly, the warmth also spreading outwards. Her cheeks were mildly flushed but Shara showed no other signs of being intoxicated. “Trying to guess at what other people are about is kind of out thing, but I hear what you’re sayin’. Time to try something new, I guess.”

Bethany angled the mouth of the bottle at Shara, “It is, but to exploit and take advantage of them. Don’t take that approach. Don’t treat them like part of the job.”

“Yeah,” Shara said.

Shara downed the rest of what was in her glass. “The captain thinks I should go see my father before he kicks the bucket. I’m on the fence, but my brother thinks I’d regret it if I don’t. I’m not convinced.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

“Ppphhhhffffsssstttt.” Bethany raspberried long and loudly. “Why bother. I mean if you have somethin’ ta say then go for it. Do ya want him ta beg forgiveness? Tell you he loves you and he’s sorry? If so, do it. If not, let ‘I’m rot.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Bethy was drunk, yes, but sometimes that lack of inhibition brought honesty. “Honestly? I don’t want anything from him. But Midos itself is a strange thing for me. I felt like I was chased out of there when I ran away. Maybe the closure I need is with the place, and not him.” The more vindictive side of her wanted to throw his grandchildren’s existence in his face so he could know that he was not worthy of ever knowing them. But that thought was a small one, easily pushed away as she eyed her empty glass.

“Maybe. That’s ki d of why I agreed ta go with Dr. Izei ta Betazed. Closure with tha place. Don’t mean ya gotta see ‘im.”

“How drunk do you plan on getting? What’s our goal here?” she said with a smirk.

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Bethany refilled Shara’s glass and finished off the bottle. She stood and managed to walk a straight line to a cabinet. She sighed, “I’m not even swayin’ yet.” She grabbed another bottle and flopped back into her chair and then popped the seal off. “There is not enough alcohol on this station to get me as drunk as I want ta be.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Shara reached down and lifted the velvet bag. “So I guess you don’t want what I brought, huh?” she said with a gleam in her eye. “And how drunk do you want to be?” It was a good question for herself, since she wasn’t sure what the answer was.

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Bethany eyed the velvet bag, “We can do both. They say mixing your liquor makes you drunk faster.” Bethany sighed. She wanted to be so drunk she couldn’t hear or feel anything anymore. She couldn’t tell Shara that though. That was a secret she couldn’t let out. “So drunk I can forget everything for awhile. Maybe enough to give me permanent amnesia.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS