Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Aasrel Izei (Chief Medical Officer) in Promises and Connections

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in Promises and Connections

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Aasrel Izei (Chief Medical Officer) in Promises and Connections
Posted by… suppressed (56) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
There was a little bit of fear at the idea of a mirror. He wasn’t sure he was ready for that. But he did want to see. “I’m feeling okay, I think. I’m not crazy hungry but I don’t mind the idea of food.” He looked up at Doctor Martin, “I think I need a little more of the pain meds. They are really hurting.”

~ Izei, CMO

“No problem,” the doctor turned and slipped a vial into a hypo and then pressed it to his neck. “That should kick in soon. If you still have an edge of pain, I’ll add a muscle relaxer.” Then he started moving equipment out of the way.

Thank you. I worry. Bethany squeezed his hand and got up to set the tray on the small table for him while Martin helped him sit up and get comfortable. Then he gave Izei a quiet and understanding look. “Would you like to see?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel smiled. I will be fine. It’s just going to be a long recovery. He looked at the doctor and hesitated for a moment. He looked at Bethany and then back. “Yes, please.”

~ Izei, CMO

Martin removed the last of the head bandages, “I’ll wrap it again, just so you don’t give in to the urge to scratch.” Then he moved over to the counter and reached into a drawer. He came back with a mirror and handed it to him.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel lifted the mirror slowly, and then looked really quick and then looked away. And then looked again. His hair was messy, but he combed it with his fingers how he usually did, and it covered the still healing bald patch. There was no sign of the metal plate. The only visual reminder of it was his eye. It made him hate it more.

Bethany was watching his face as he watched the mirror. He could feel the sense of warmth and assurance and acceptance that flooded her as she stared at his eyes. At least it is a Federation prosthetic, she reminded him gently.

He took her hand and squeezed it. You’re right. That’s better than what it was originally.

Sitting up now though, he didn’t need the mirror to examine his limbs, so he set it down. Besides the bandages, his arm and leg were smooth, no sign of the implants. It was almost strange to see, but the sight made him grin. Psychologically, he could still ‘feel’ them, because he knew they were there, but really, that was just his mind. He looked… Almost like normal. He’d had a plate removed from his chest - months ago, before the Azimov - and that meant… There were no visible ones left. “I look… better.” He said and smiled.

~ Izei, CMO

Martin smiled and set a hand gently on his shoulder. “Feel better? I know I did after my surgeries. How about eating some now?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel nodded. “It still bothers me that they’re still in there, but now I don’t have to look at them anymore. Or feel them there.” He nodded again and pulled the tray closer to him. Then he started eating.

~ Izei, CMO

“As your body is allowed to recognize them as foreign, it will work to remove them. It might be a slow process, but eventually you will only be able to tell by scan that there was a graft done.” Martin put in orders for a muscle relaxer if Izei asked for it. “Alright eat, sleep, and page for anything, agreed. Good.” He grinned and walked out.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel did. He finished eating fairly quickly and then lay back against the raised bed. The pain meds were making him tired. They’d started helping a while ago, but it was still painful. It was better though, which was good. He looked at Bethany and smiled. His head was rewrapped, so he wouldn’t itch. He said, “So what did you think?”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany paused with her glass part way to her mouth. “Can’t you feel how my heart is racing. You’d be in trouble if you weren’t in that biobed.” She moved her tray aside so she could lean forward towards him. “Absolutely devastatingly dashing. You look more relaxed too, but that might be the meds.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“In trouble, hm? Sounds exciting.” He said, grinning. “Bit of both, I think.” Aasrel tugged her closer and then kissed her, making it a nice, long one. “I won’t be in this bed that long.”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany smiled against his lips as she kissed him back. The music that sounded with his words sent warm shocks down her spine. She wasn’t sure she would ever get used to constantly hearing music, but at least this was pleasant. “Hmmm… making promises again, Doc? You know how I feel about your promises.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“Yeah, you love them.” Aasrel replied, smiling. He yawned, he looked sleepy. “What time is it? When do you have to go?”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany laughed softly and then kissed him again. I do love them. She glanced at the chronometer, “0321. I don’t have anywhere to go for a few hours. Really I have nothing to do until the Brass calls me back in. They have an outside skeleton crew running the ship until we’re all cleared. So I can stay for awhile. Go to sleep.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“But if I go to sleep now, I miss valuable time with you,” Aasrel yawned, looking up at her. “You don’t want that, do you?” He was teasing, smiling.

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany leaned in and rested her forehead against his. “What I want…” she kissed him once, lingering over it. Is for you to recover so we can have as much uninterrupted time together as we want.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel kissed her back, relaxing into it. I’ll be fine, Bethany, promise. He said. But maybe I could sleep a little. He looked tired. He was relieved to switch to telepathy, it was easier.

~ Izei, CMO

Then go to sleep. She rested her head on his good shoulder, I know you’ll be fine. And as extra incentive, if you are a good patient maybe I’ll go shopping on the promenade and find something we both can enjoy.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel smiled. There was affection mixed with determination. We will do that when I can walk there with you myself. He said stubbornly. He made himself comfortable. Can you get pillows to put under my arm and my leg?

~ Izei, CMO

Her laughter filled his mind, But then it wouldn’t be a surprise. She got up and went through the small storage cabinet and grabbed pillows and a couple of blankets. She helped him lay back and then adjust his arm and leg until he was comfortable. She turned the lights down before she resumed her seat and dozed off herself.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel slept hard, his body needed it. He was asleep for around four hours before he woke suddenly and looked for Bethany.

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany was in a rather comfortable chair, curled up with a pillow and a blanket tucked around her. She looked peaceful, but her thoughts conveyed she was having a nightmare.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

She was on his left, so it was easy for him to reach over and shake her gently. The motion of shifting made him grimace. “Bethany? Bethany, wake up.” He said softly, not wanting to startle her.

~ Izei, CMO

She was awake instantly, and for that first moment her eyes were wild, searching the room. Then the look was gone. She smiled at him and set the blanket aside and moved to sit on the side of his bed and took his hand. “Hey, you okay?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” He said, squeezing her hand. There was worry and concern to his words. But she’d also be able to sense his pain, it was worse than before. It was why he woke.

~ Izei, CMO

“I’m okay. Just a bad dream.” She brushed his hair back from his face, I’m sorry, I can’t talk about it. Not because she wasn’t ready, but the classification of the memories that triggered it. Sometimes her work made her feel very lonely. “I’ll go get the doctor. Hang on.”

I understand. Just know I’m here for you. He responded, squeezing her hand again. “I- Bethany,” he said, but she was already out the door. The one thing with her being able to tell how he was for herself. She’d also decide whether he needed help.

She returned with the nurse, who followed her after paging Dr. Martin. She took his vitals and checked the incision sites. “What’s your pain level Lt?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

His vitals were fine, aside a slightly high heart rate and blood pressure, to be expected with pain. “Maybe a six?” He glanced at Bethany as if to ask her. “Or seven.” His face was pinched and his voice tight.

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany was no help. She knew how she would rate the pain for herself, but not how it compared to his own perceptions. She also felt guilty now. She wasn’t trying to decide for him, she was just… there was a problem that she could actually do something about. I’m sorry. This telepathy thing sucked.

Don’t be, Aasrel said, You know I would have done the same thing. He smiled a little. Don’t be guilty, either. You have no reason to be.

The nurses nodded, “Do you want something else? Or maybe shift position some? We could try a hot or cold pack, I think. I can ask Dr. Martin.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“I’ve tried switching positions,” Aasrel sighed. “A hot or a cold pack might work. Let’s ask the doctor and see what he thinks.”

~ Izei, CMO

The nurse nodded, giving Aasrel a lot of attention. “Of course, he’ll be here in a minute. Is there anything else I can do for you?” She was fluffing pillows and covering him with blankets (all very gently of course) and generally making a fuss over him.

Martin arrived before she was done. “Good morning, Lt. How are you doing? The nurse said you have some pain?” Even as he talked he was taking scans and looking at readouts to rule out that anything had gone wrong.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel nodded. “It’s worse than it was.” The scans showed the incision sites were fine, the grafts were still fine, but his nerves were sensing pain. It was like Martin said before, the nodes were gone and the brain was sensing things it hadn’t been able to, but it seemed more than that.

~ Izei, CMO

Martin watched the scans for a long time. “I’m going to give you a nerve block in your arm and your leg. I want to do some neurological scans and testing. It won’t be pleasant so the nerve block will be best.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel watched him as he did. Aasrel knew that look, and he didn’t like it. He hesitated for a moment and then nodded, “Okay.” He wasn’t a fan of more things changing how his body responded to things.

~ Izei, CMO

Martin waited for consent and then placed the nerve blocks. He set nerve stimulators along the leg and arm and fed the data to the screen. He watched and adjusted settings, moved sensors, watched some more. His face was passive, but he was angry over what he was seeing. Finally he stopped and removed everything, but left the nerve block in. “I’m sorry Lt. Izei. The nerves are very damaged. As we discussed now that your brain can process it, you are feeling it. If the doctors had removed the implants immediately… it wouldn’t be like this.” He met Aasrel’s gaze steadily. “We’ll try a Neuroelectrical Suppresser while your body tries to heal, it will lessen the pain, but it’s not a long term solution as you know. I’ll prepare the surgical suite and I’ll see if I can manually repair the nerves.” He showed Aasrel the test results though and they were not promising.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel held Bethany’s hand during the process with his good hand. As soon as the nerve block was placed she felt his pain subside and he visibly relaxed. He watched the doctor, feeling his emotions as he worked. He worked with that passive doctor face, but he was angry, Aasrel could tell.

Bethany felt Aasrel’s own anger at the news. Along with how upset he was. It was clear on his face. He read the results when Martin handed them to him. They weren’t promising. Bethany would know immediately how bad it was based on Aasrel’s reaction. “A manual repair might make it worse.” He said. “There’s no other option though, is there?” There wasn’t. But he was grasping at straws.

~ Izei, CMO

Martin nodded. “It might. There is theory that using a positronic matrix can fix neural problems, but it’s still a long way off. Research had started on it, but then we had the synth-ban. Now it’s lifted, but the research was stopped, and those that were working on it have died since then. They have to start almost from scratch. We can look at pain management options. We could even remove the damaged nerves completely, but that would leave you without a lot of sensation, and loss of movement and control in the limbs. Most likely enough to get a medical discharge.”

“I don’t want a medical discharge.” If it was that bad, it would also end his career as a doctor.

Bethany did not like what she was hearing. This was supposed to help him, not make it worse! But she held his hand and kept her thoughts and emotions tightly clamped down. At least that was something she knew how to do before everything happened to her.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel squeezed her hand gently, trying to comfort her as much as himself. “Let’s try the manual repair.”

~ Izei, CMO

Martin nodded, “If I don’t think I can do it, I won’t attempt it. Then we’ll see if we can find another doctor who can. If not, then we’ll look at other options. I’ll be back.” Martin left to go set up the surgical suite. He was fuming. It was inexcusable what had been done. Izei hadn’t been with the Borg that long. This could have been prevented.

Bethany squeezed his hand. “I don’t understand, what’s wrong?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel looked at her, his expression devastated. “The implants damaged the nerves in my limbs. I can either live in chronic pain, remove the nerves and damage the limbs’ functionality, do what Doctor Martin wants to try and hope that works, or… Go for the amputations.”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany’s face was passive but caring. Inside there was a violent eruption of denial. It absolutely did not matter to her, but he had been through so much. This had to work. The eruption was quickly trapped down. “It will be okay. It’s going to work out.” No matter what, it doesn’t matter to me, it won’t change how I feel about you. I just want them to help you. For you to be here with me.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel smiled sadly. “I hope so.” He sighed and shrugged. “I just want… I wanted to be back to normal, not.... Not this.” He said, voice sad like he might cry.

~ Izei, CMO

I’m sorry. She knew he liked telepathy better so she used it. She sat down and hugged him. This was her fault. If she hadn’t called Jake, Aasrel wouldn’t be facing this. She kept those thoughts tightly hidden. Aasrel would try to comfort her, and she didn’t deserve it.

Martin returned, “Alright, do you still want to try a repair?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasre hugged her back. With both his arms. He couldn’t feel it, but he could still move it. Don’t be. He looked at her. I’m glad they tried to help. No one could have forseen this. And I guess, if it has to go that way… Like my eye, at least they’ll be Federation prosthetics.

When Martin came back Aasrel nodded. “Let’s try it.”

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany leaned in and kissed him, despite Dr. Martin ready to take him back. You will be fine.

Aasrel kissed her back. No matter what happens I know you’ll be there. That makes anything better.

Of course I will be. She kissed him once more before he had to go.

Martin waited and then when they were done the nurse came in to help move him to surgery. “Alright, we will return. It will be a couple of hours, or longer. I’ll send the nurse with updates.” Then they disappeared.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

The surgery was several hours, four or five. Everything seemed fine, but neurological tests showed the same results. There was no improvement. The nerves were simply beyond repair. He was returned to recovery and Bethany was allowed to wait with him for him to wake up.

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany was called away for another meeting with the Brass. Jake and T’Jal promised to wait and let her know if anything happened.

She was back before he was out of surgery, but not much before. She settled back into her chair. The Admiral insisted she eat and then try to sleep some. Bethany was dozing lightly, holding his hand.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

It was a couple of hours before he woke. As soon as he did he squeezed her hand. There was silence for a bit and then, It still hurts. He said telepathically.

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany’s thumb rubbed over his knuckles. I know. Her voice was full of regret. I’m so sorry, Rel. Dr. Martin said the nerves were far too damaged. They can’t be repaired. But he said your bone marrow and the tissue and bone grafts are taking exceptionally well.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel shook his head slightly, still groggy from leftover anesthesia. It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known this would happen. I will always be grateful you tried so hard to help. He sighed softly, he was hurting and he was sad. I’m glad they’re taking well. I hope I get to keep them.

~ Izei, CMO

Let’s just focus on stopping the pain right now. Do you need the doctor? Bethany didn’t want him to give up.

He didn’t have a chance to answer. Martin was monitoring him from the other room. He came in. Very carefully he went over what he found and the options. “There is medication. Permanent nerve blocks of the affected nerves. You can wait and see if your body naturally adjusts and then decide. We can also just remove the damaged nerves. I’m afraid the damage will grow along the nerves though.” It was like a combination of atrophy and gangrene.
Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“Grow along other nerves? As in, the nerves in the rest of my body could start doing this?” Aasrel asked, squeezing Bethany’s hand hard. “And if we remove them, I’ll lose function, right? Not be able to serve?”

~ Izei, CMO

“I don’t know that it will get worse, but it’s like a mix of atrophy and gangrene. It’s dying from disuse but could spread along as the damaged nerves keep sending overestimated pain responses it could damage the nerves around it.”

“Nerves are tricky things. In your arm the damaged nerves are very minor, small, you would probably have some small constant pinpricks of numbness. And muscle retraining for the lost impulses. The nerve in your leg is the lateral cutaneous nerve of the thigh. You would lose a lot of sensation there.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel frowned. “Would I be able to serve with the lost sensation? What would that be like for me?”

~ Izei, CMO

“I don’t know. The lateral cutaneous nerve spans the outside of your thigh. So you wouldn’t lose all sensation in the leg, but nerves aren’t just for sense of touch, they deliver commands from the brain. Your serving would depend on how much of the nerve has to be removed and how well the rest can compensate to make the muscles and other organs operate.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“Would there be harm if we tried it and altered course if the functions isn’t enough? But then… Would there be another choice?” Aasrel frowned and squeezed Bethany’s hand again. “What about the meds? Would they stop it from spreading?”

~ Izei, CMO

“The only harm in trying is that once the nerve is removed, we can’t put it back. It won’t be life threatening, but it will be permanent. Medication can help with the pain, but we are already seeing that it won’t control it. We could do neural therapy which would send impulse signals along the nerves to make sure they are picking up more than just pain, but it is painful to force those signals through.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel looked at Bethany, afraid and uncertain. If it were you, what would I tell you to do? What should I do? He asked, telepathically. He clenched his fist - the right one. It was painful, but it was as if he wanted to know he could.

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany didn’t know. The guilt was making her sick, but she hid it from him, and that made her feel more guilty. He could feel her uncertainty. You would want me to choose what would give me the best quality of life.

She felt his curiosity, questioning. He wanted to know what was wrong. I don’t know what to do.

Bethany didn’t know what to tell him. All she could do was be there. I don’t want you to hurt.

Martin watched as Izei clenched his fist. “The other thing to consider is that even if the damage doesn’t spread, eventually the damaged nerves will die and you will still have that loss of sensation and control. Long or short it will be extremely painful.” He looked up at the readings. “You have pain blockers, anesthesia, narcotic pain killers, and muscle relaxers in your system, and your K3 indicator is showing an 8.5.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel looked back to the doctor. “So either they go now, or they die slowly and I get the same results?” He nodded to the readings. “It hurts. A lot.” He sighed and frowned. “You’re the attending doctor. What do you think I should do?”

~ Izei, CMO

Martin looked at the scans, readings, and images. “I think the amount of pain you will be in, is not a life, nor will it be existing. If it was me, I would have them removed, and do the therapy after to retrain my muscles. Then go from there.” He looked again, “Or there is the extreme. Have them replaced with fully prosthetic replacements. There will be a lot of therapy either way, but as long as you master the prosthetics you can serve. There is no guarantee you can if we simply remove them. I think it is worth trying just the removal first.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“Then let’s try it. I’m willing to do anything.” Aasrel looked up intentionally at Bethany. “It’s all worth it. To be free of them. I don’t care.” Then he looked at the doctor. “Let’s try just the removal.”

~ Izei, CMO

Martin nodded. “Alright. I’m going to put the nerve blocks back in place so your body can rest and heal. You’ve had two long surgeries in 36 hours. And to be frank, I need rest too. It is a delicate surgery and I want to be rested and alert when I go back in. So we’ll schedule for 16 hours from now, as long as your vitals stay strong and their are no complications.”

Bethany held his hand while Martin put the nerve block back in place. The lack of his pain was an immediate relief to her, so she could imagine how it was for him. “Why don’t you try to sleep some more?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS