Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in Nightmares Tell Us What to Pray Against

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Aasrel Izei (Chief Medical Officer) in Nightmares Tell Us What to Pray Against

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in Nightmares Tell Us What to Pray Against
Posted by… suppressed (83) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Aasrel shook his head. “I’m comfortable enough. I need to work.” He said, gesturing at his PaDD. He sighed and glanced at Bethany, glad she was sleeping easier. “I don’t know how much time she has left…”

~ Aasrel

Elbbirt took the time to pull the sheet up and try to make Bethany company. “We only have as much time as we have. She should make the most of it.” She sighed, “Hopefully the new medication will work. I know you already checked, but there is nothing in our database like this.” She smiled sadly, “I know you and Th’rethiss are working on it, but I’ll look at it too. Another pair of eyes couldn’t hurt.” She went to the door, “Page me if you need anything.” Then she left.

Elbbirt

Aasrel sighed and nodded, and then went back to work on his PaDD. He felt like he was close and his lingering confusing frustrated him. His head was hurting more and more but he had to keep working. He worked for several more hours.

~ Aasrel

The alpha wave inducer kept her asleep and allowed for REM stage to happen. Luckily for Bethany her dreams were happy rather than nightmares.

At the end of her shift, Elbbirt returned to remove the device. “I’m not going to wake her, just let it happen naturally. Then I will go brief Th’rethiss.” She looked at the readouts and took a small blood sample. She was glad to see respiration and heart rate was down.

It was another half an hour before Bethany woke up. Her hand reached out for him, but she found empty bed rather than his hand. She came instantly awake, but was momentarily unclear why she was on his biobed and not in the chair. “Aasrel???”

Bethany

Aasrel was squinting at the PaDD, still trying to work. When Bethany woke and asked for him, he reached for her hand and smiled. “I’m here. Do you feel any better?” He asked gently, looking at her.

~ Aasrel

Bethany latched on to his hand and breathed slowly. She closed her eyes, focusing inward for a moment. Then she looked at him. “Yeah. I feel okay.” She sat up slowly, “Did you sit there all night? Shouldn’t you be up here? Th’rethiss is going to want to do your scans.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed with all intentions of getting up.

Bethany

“I’m okay. We can switch when he gets here. You rest a little more.” Aasrel said, squinting against the light in the room. He smiled at her. “Are you hungry?”

~ Aasrel

She was worried that she had slept so long. Which was probably counter-intuitive, but it was a change in the symptoms. She never slept well on her own any more. Was something new wrong? She didn’t say anything though.

She saw him squint and ordered the computer to adjust the lights. Then she reached over and gently took the PaDD from him. “You’ve given yourself a headache. Take a break.” She nodded then giving him a really flirtatious look. “Yeah, I’m hungry.”

Bethany

He’d given himself a really bad headache. He just didn’t want to worry her. Aasrel reached for the PaDD but didn’t argue. Her look made him grin. “It shouldn’t be much longer before we can fill that appetite.” He sighed dramatically, “But for now, I mean food.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany grinned. Warmth filled her. She almost ached with how much she loved him. No matter how outrageous she was, he just went right along with it. If she was quiet or not confident, he stayed with her anyway. For a very brief moment nothing else existed but how much she loved him. “I can’t wait.” She sighed also and stood up. “I suppose I can go ask about food.”

Bethany

Aasrel’s headache worsened, and then he was filled with a deep warmth and an intense love. He stood from the chair and hugged her suddenly, leaning on her for support. He hugged her tight, tucking his head into her, the helmet bumping her gently. “I love you too. So much.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany was surprised at the sudden movement, but was quietly delighted by his action. She craved the way he held her. Too? She hadn’t said anything… There was a soft sudden intake of breath, “You… you can feel that?” She turned her face and pressed into the crook of his neck and shoulder. Her emotions were suddenly a swirl of love, delight, hope, wonder/disbelief, and old hurts, inadequacies, and heartaches.

Bethany

Aasrel smiled and nodded, still hugging her tightly to him. “I can. I told you, Bethany, you have a presence.” He snuggled his head in against her, “I love feeling your presence.” He said softly. “And never let anyone else tell you differently.”

~ Aasrel

Her arms came up around his shoulders and held on tightly. A small tremor ran through her as very old and deep wounds surfaced. She didn’t say anything, but after a moment his neck was damp. She almost wished he couldn’t feel anything from her. It was cruel when she would be gone so soon. She didn’t say it though because he was already overworking himself. Instead, she just held on to him tighter.

Bethany

His flashes of empathy were getting longer, it hadn’t yet faded away. He hugged her until he felt lightheaded and thought he might take her down with him, and then sat back in the chair. “I’m so glad I met you when I did. Regardless of what happens.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany didn’t want to let go, but didn’t want to force him to stay up longer than he could. She glanced away to wipe her face. She blew out a shuddered breath. “It’s just not fair.” She stood up with a huge sigh, she was frustrated and feeling trapped. She couldn’t stand just waiting. “I’ll uh … I’ll go get food.”

Bethany

Aasrel smiled. “I’m not giving up and neither are you. We’ll find away. Go get something you really like and I’ll try it, okay?” He said as he settled back in.

~ Aasrel

“Okay.” She went out without telling anyone anything. Jonan just happened to notice her leaving and followed after her.

Th’rethiss came by to check on them. He hrumphed at the empty bed. “Where is she?”

Bethany

“Getting food,” Aasrel said with a shrug, snatching his PaDD off the bed. “She seems better. Slept hard after the alpha wave inducer.”

~ Aasrel

Th’rethiss nodded. As long as she came back. Izei seemed more himself with his nonchalant attitude. “She needs sleep and food. I am tempted to keep her off duty after last night.” He waved towards the bed. “Let’s get your scans done then.”

Th’rethiss

Aasrel climbed onto the bed and lay flat. “I agree, but she won’t be happy if you keep her off duty. Just a warning.” He said, laying still for the scans.

~ Aasrel

Th’rethiss, unaware of the fact Izei’s empathy was in effect, gave a loud mental snort, the equivalent of ‘When is she ever happy’. He cared about her health and well being, but he was very off put by the way she was constantly challenging him and making him look like the proverbial bad guy.

Aasrel chuckled and shook his head. “She isn’t trying to be difficult, you know. Things are just… Hard for her.”

Th’rethiss grunted. It was hard, but no reason to be rude.

Th’rethiss pulled out and set up the scanner and started it. “She is very sick. After last night I really don’t think she should be working. If she should pass out seize while on duty…”

Th’rethiss

“I never thought she should go back to working but I think she thinks I’m just being over cautious.” Aasrel commented, then was quiet to let the scanner work.

~ Aasrel

“She shouldn’t, but it is obvious that her mental health is suffering for being confined. She could be released from sickbay, but still off duty. I suppose I could order a nurse or Security to watch her and make sure she doesn’t try to go on duty. We don’t need the hassle.”

Aasrel nodded. “A nurse. That way if something goes wrong or she sneaks off, the nurse will be able to help. Besides, I don’t think she’d appreciate being watched by one of her own officers.”

Th’rethiss was obviously frustrated over it. He didn’t feel like they should have to babysit an officer. Especially one that was a Lt Cmdr and a department head. It would probably have to be Jonan. He was the only one that could handle her.

The scans finished and he moved the scanner away and raised the bed. “How are you feeling? I understand you sat up in the chair all night.”

Th’rethiss

“I’m okay.” Aasrel didn’t want to bring up how much his head hurt. It was his own doing, after all. He’d studied with his PaDD all night. Now he was paying the price for it. “A little lightheaded, I guess. Dizzy.”

~ Aasrel

“No headache?” He looked from Izei to the screen and back. “Is the dizziness any better? You walked much farther yesterday.”

“Some headache,” Aasrel admitted sheepishly, “but I was using my PaDD, so I assume that’s the cause of that.” He nodded, “The dizziness is getting better, but still comes back when I’m up.”

He looked over the scans, “The swelling is gone, and your paracortex is very active on the scan. Any returning senses?”

Th’rethiss

“Telepathy still hasn’t returned but empathy comes back in flashes that fade away, but are becoming longer.” Aasrel said.

~ Aasrel

Th’rethiss nodded as he listened. “Since there is no damage or misfiring in the brain, I would agree it is just strain. The dizziness should continue to pass as tour body gets used to moving more. Your balance will return as well.” He stood there and went over the scans. “I am not sure what dictates telepathy versus empathy in the paracortex. But the damage is almost healed. Another two days should see that healed completely. The psilosynine is spreading through the paracortex now and the psilo-gland is fully active. We will keep doing scans.” He turned off the screens, crosses his arms and turned to Izei. “We will do the bone replacement this afternoon. I do not know if that will effect the psilosynine. We won’t touch the brain, just bone and tissue.”

Bethany returned then, carrying a tray, Jonan had another. She looked from Aasrel to Th’rethiss who was scowling at her.

Bethany

“It might, but it should be temporary. When Betazoids get a concussion it can affect our telepathic and empathic abilities but it’s a temporary problem. Like concussion related memory issues.” Aasrel said. He turned to Bethany and smiled, waving her over to him.

~ Aasrel

Bethany set the tray down (Jonan setting his beside it and then, with a look from Th’rethiss, standing by the door) and walked over to him. He was smiling, but she felt wary. She smiled as she leaned against the bed beside him. “How did your scans go?”

Bethany

“Everything’s looking good. We’re set to do my surgery this afternoon.” Aasrel said. “The good news is, you’re going to have lots of time with me.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany felt the tension go out of her stomach. He was fine, everything was okay. She smiled, but resisted the urge to hug him - after everyone left. “Good, my shift will be over by then. So I’ll be here.”

Behind her, Th’rethiss looked at Izei with a look that was unmistakable. You telling her or me.

Bethany

You are, said Izei’s look over her shoulder as he hugged her whether she wanted to do it in front of everyone or not. He was not going to be the bad guy here.

~ Aasrel

Bethany leaned against him as Aasrel hugged her. She grinned at him and warmth, like sunshine, filled her.

Th’rethiss didn’t expect anything else. What would Izei do if he didn’t have another doctor to pawn this off on? Let Gadi go about her way and hurt herself because he didn’t want to be the bad guy. “You will not be going on duty Cmdr.”

Bethany whipped around. She stumbled, not because she was dizzy, but her balance wasn’t great. The biobed, and Aasrel’s arm, kept her from falling. “You said I was going back on duty. I passed all the PT you had Jonan give me. I did them to and back from the Galley.” She looked at Jonan who grunted and nodded, “She did.”

“I can not, in good conscious, let you go back on duty. Not after last night.”

“I’ve had a fever since this thing started. It’s not that bad. I was just cold. I usually wear a jacket anyway. Do you really think if there is an emergency, I’m going to sit here and go, ‘Sorry, come back later, I’m sick. Buh-bye now,’? No I’m not.”

Th’rethiss’ jaw clenched. “If you were to fall unconscious or have another seizure or lose your balance and miss, things could go very badly for the crew, not to mention yourself. You must keep your heart rate down. And Security work is not conductive to that.”

“It’s desk work!” That feeling of being trapped was growing, fueling almost panic in Bethany. “I am not going to sit her, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the grim reaper to get around to coming to collect me!” Inside she was practically vibrating. She had to get out of there, this was ridiculous.

Th’rethiss held up a hand. “I am not opposed to you returning to your quarters, but duty shifts are out of the question. Jonan can go with you in case you need help or get sick.” A babysitter? Bethany’s eyes blazed enough to make Th’rethiss take a step back.

Bethany

Aasrel tugged her arm gently. “Bethany, please.” He said softly, looking at her. “I’m being released soon too. You can’t work but you can spend time with me. We won’t be in sickbay, we’ll be alone. Isn’t that enough?” He asked. “What would you tell me to do, if I were you?”

~ Aasrel

It was different for him, he was going to get better. What he did or did not do would make a difference for him. She looked at him. She made herself relax, but she didn’t feel it. “Yes, it’s enough,” she whispered to him. It was, he was. Fear and frustration and panic was pushing her. The color on her cheeks and the throbbing in her neck gave proof to the level of stress on her body and heart rate. She flared at Th’rethiss. “I don’t need a babysitter. I can behave all on my own.”

Bethany

“Neither of you have proven you can behave without a ‘babysitter’.” Th’rethiss said calmly. “Despite your status as department heads all either of you have done is push boundaries and ignore directions.”

“Good girls rarely make history,” Bethany muttered under her breath. There was a sense of defiance to it. As if it meant more to her than a simple historical quote. She certainly hadn’t survived this long by adhereing strictly to the rules. “But we have not defied orders.” Which was true. Suggestions, opinions, advice were ignored and discarded, but no orders were violated.

“You have all but done so!” Th’rethiss snapped, and then took a composing breath. “I should not have to make every little thing an order for senior officers to willingly follow them.”

That was a matter of perspective. It just proved she shouldn’t be on a ship. She didn’t belong on a team or in Intel anymore either. She couldn’t retire though. What would she do? His outburst didn’t really phase her though.

Aasrel wished she’d understand, what she did or didn’t do would make a difference. It would give her more time. Give him more time to keep looking. He pulled her into a hug. “Good. Because we’re going to have a movie marathon as soon as we can.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany did understand, she did, but she wasn’t as certain as she had been that there was an answer. The stress and fear and lack of sleep and general malaise was making her reactionary rather than sensible. She did want whatever time she could manage with Aasrel. She needed time to make sure he went home.

Bethany

“When is my surgery?” Aasrel asked, still clinging to Bethany.

“1500 this afternoon,” Th’rethiss answered.

~ Aasrel

“What do we need to do before then?” Bethany asked.

“Eat, both of you. Then, Gadi, you have scans, and Dr. Izei has to go walk.” Th’rethiss left. Jonan moved the trays over and slipped out. The food was a traditional country breakfast. Home fries, sausage gravy, biscuits, bacon, sausage, eggs, apple butter, pancakes, syrup, and coffee. “It’s a lot, but I really like this. Uncle Kain always made this on Saturday mornings.”

Bethany

Aasrel picked up a plate of pancakes, a biscuit, sausage, and eggs. Then he started trying each thing. He seemed to really like all of it. He smiled at her. “It’s really good.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany opened a biscuit and poured sausage gravy over half of it. The other half was slathered in apple butter. She added syrup to her pancakes and began eating. She ate quietly. She didn’t have much of an appetite any more, but the food brought back memories. Happy ones that were welcome, but it made her sad as well. “I’m glad you like it. It is so much better real and not replicated. I’ll cook it sometime if we ever get to Earth.”

Bethany

“No ifs.” Aasrel declared. “When we go to Earth, you’ll cook me a… whatever this is called.” He said with a smile. He finished what he could eat and pushed his tray aside. “Promise me. When we go to Earth.”

~ Aasrel

“It’s called a country breakfast.” Bethany smiled softly at his insistence. She didn’t argue. Every bite was savored until it was mostly gone. He asked her to promise.

She stood up quietly, stacking plates and trays and moving them over to the counter. Using being ‘busy’ to put off an answer. She would tell him anything he wanted to hear, to keep him going and trying. She didn’t give her promise often or easily. She couldn’t promise when because it felt like a lie. She’d had plenty of lies in her life, but she didn’t want that with him. Not even well intentioned ones.

Bethany

“Promise me.” Aasrel insisted, not letting her squirm out of this. “We’re going to make it there. Have hope.” He smiled and stood carefully, keeping hold of something. He wanted to help with the dishes, but he couldn’t yet. Instead, when she was done, he’d just hug her.

~ Aasrel

Bethany had been done. It didn’t take long to stack their few plates. His voice had that tone that gave her a crazy sense of stability. That tone that said ‘I’m in charge and not even the universe will defy me.’ It made her want to simply let go and let someone else be in charge for awhile.

She heard him get up and turned to help him. She would offer to get Jonan so he could go for his walk, but the words stuck in her throat, behind the promise he wanted. Instead of helping him, her face pressed into his neck her eyes squeezed shut tightly, hands bunched in his shirt at his waist, her breath shuddered as her heart pounded hard enough to shake her.

Bethany

Aasrel hugged her tight, resting against her gently. “You’re going to be okay.” He said softly, looking at her. “And then we’re going to Betazed and Earth and wherever else we want to go.”

~ Aasrel

In that moment he could feel her let go, accept his conviction, and let it carry her past the fear. It was hard for her to let go of being in control, and for no one else but Aasrel could she do it. She rested her head on his shoulder. She let herself trust in his conviction. Let it erase her doubt enough to get out the words he wanted her to utter. “I promise, when we get to Earth I’ll cook for you.” If possible she held onto him tighter.

Bethany

He hugged her for as long as he could, letting her rest against him. “Good.” He said softly, seeming happy with her answer. After a few long minutes, “You’d better go for your scans before Th’rethiss comes back to yell at us some more.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany didn’t move though. “He will yell no matter what. He didn’t want to do any of this, and I backed him into a corner.” She knew she needed to go, Aasrel needed to go for his walk, but she wouldn’t let go of him.

“He admitted that was wrong,” Aasrel said, still hugging her. He held on until she was ready to let go.

Eventually, she did though. Reluctantly she slid away from him and disappeared out the door. Jonan entered right behind her. “Ready? We’re going to try to circle all of sickbay today.”

Bethany

Aasrel nodded. “I’m ready.” The walk was slow and difficult for him but he almost made it the whole way. About the last quarter he needed a lot of help to make it back.

~ Aasrel

Jonan helped him encouraging him to rest as often as needed. They got back to the room but Bethany wasn’t there. “Are you tired or simply dizzy?” The answer would determine how Jonan adjusted Izei’s exercise regimine.

“Both,” Aasrel answered.

“We will try to go for one more walk before your surgery.”

Jonan

He nodded. “I hope we can. We should have the time.” He commented after looking at a clock.

~ Aasrel

Jonan nodded. “This is a simple procedure today so you shouldn’t have any relapse, but your body may simply be tired. Rest, eat, and we will go again before.” Jonan left but was back a moment later. “They gave her her meds after her scans. She still has half an hour left before she is allowed to get up.”

Jonan

Aasrel smiled and nodded. “Thank you for the update.” He said, and then he closed his eyes to rest a little while she was supposed to be lying down.

~ Aasrel

Jonan nodded and he disappeared again. Bethany’s scans were good. The new medication that Elbbirt had administered at Aasrel’s suggestion was working. It would take at least another day before they saw any significant reduction in her symptoms. Bethany was going to have to be even more careful not to get sick or hurt as the medication would stop her body from reacting to those naturally. She wasn’t thrilled about that announcement, but it wasn’t like she wasn’t already being careful.

Her heart rate was up and not coming down. So Th’rethiss decided to give her the meds after the scans to keep her laying down longer. If she listened anyway.

When Harkins let her get up, she wandered back into Aasrel’s room and curled up in the chair with a blanket. She laid her head against the bed and closed her eyes.

Bethany

Aasrel peeked an eye open and looked at her. “Your scans were good?” He asked. He rolled so he was facing her and smiled. “How do you feel?”

~ Aasrel

She nodded, “That’s what Th’rethiss said. He wants me to go back to my quarters. With the immunosuppressant he doesn’t want me around anyone sick. He said I can stay in here though, but not the main bay.” She shrugged. She felt like she’d run a marathon and was put of breath. “The same. How was your walk?”

Bethany

“It was fine.” He nodded. “He’s right. Once they release me you shouldn’t be around anyone sick and I shouldn’t be around you if I’ve been around anyone sick either.” He made a face. “Hopefully it’ll be a bit before I’m back on duty.” Then he smiled at her again.

~ Aasrel

What kind of life was that? Locked away from everyone, especially the only person that mattered? It wasn’t. It was just existing. She sighed. She didn’t really like people anyway (that’s what Bethany told herself anyway), so now she got to stay away from them. Bethany shook her head. “No, you have to back to work. You know you will go stir crazy if you have to be locked up with me. There is a whole ship of people that need you. You can’t put all your focus on me. We talked about that already.”

Bethany

“I’d rather go stir crazy with you than be separated from you.” Aasrel reached out for her. “Maybe I should quit. Just… resign.” He shrugged and sighed. “I don’t know.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany sat up and looked at him, one brow going up. She took his hand in both of hers. “Resign? Do you really want to?” She was genuinely curious. “I mean you can practice medicine anywhere. You could go home, be with your family,” that sounded really idyllic to her. “I mean after this mission on top of everything else, you would be more than justified if you wanted to get away from Star Fleet.” They’d talked about that too. What would she do if she resigned? Get into trouble, drive people crazy, be alienated. She studied his hand intently, her thumbs smoothing over his hand rhythmically.

Bethany

“I can’t go home, you know that.” Aasrel sighed. He shrugged, “I don’t even know if I want to practice medicine. I just.... don’t care anymore.” He seemed lost and tired. “I just don’t want to be away from you, either.” He squeezed her hand gently. “I just… I don’t know. I guess I’m just saying nonsense.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany squeezed his hand. “You can, with me. We’re going, together … We agreed.” She looked up into his depthless black eyes, one tinged with electric sparks she loved his eyes. “Of course you care, Aasrel. I’ve watched you with the other patients. You listen, you’re careful, you make sure they have everything they need to get better. You don’t allow anyone to go without. You might not want to be around people anymore, but you do care.”

He studied her face, meeting her own black gaze. “It used to be different though, I… I was different.” He didn’t know how to explain it. He was getting worked up though.

Bethany squeezed his hand. She wanted to tell him ‘of course you’re different’ but that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. The counselor in her knew, he needed to hear it, but they were past the point of where she could help him as a counselor. They were too personally involved. He needed to speak to someone who could be outside of the intensity of the emotions and events going on.

Bethany sighed, and laced her fingers with his. She rested her forehead against their hands before looking back up at him. “I’m scared Aasrel, but I promised not to give up, and I’m doing my best. I’ll do whatever you say I have to, but you can’t give up either.” She rested her cheek against his hand again, focusing on breathing for a moment. “It’s not nonsense. You’ve been through too much and you feel lost and adrift. You don’t know how to find your direction.”

Bethany

“I’m trying not to, I promised.” Aasrel looked like he might start crying. He didn’t know why he was feeling it so keenly now of all times. It was just a bad day. “That’s all I want to do, give up,” he admitted, squeezing her hand.

~ Aasrel

Bethany took a deep slow breath and then met his gaze with a very direct intensity. “I might be talking out of my @$$, but could it be your empathy? It’s been a long while, and now it’s on and working again. Do you think maybe it’s everyone else’s emotions affecting you? I mean it’s pretty oppressive without telepathy. I can’t imagine how it feels to you.”

Bethany

Aasrel paused and thought a moment. “No, you’re right. That would explain why it’s so much worse all of a sudden.” He squeezed her hand again and managed a little smile. “But it’s like I’m sinking in negative emotions and I can’t get away from it.”

~ Aasrel

She wasn’t helping things by letting her emotions run rampant inside herself. She had such a hard time concentrating though. “How can I help? Can I even help?” She felt pretty useless. She didn’t know what to tell him to help with the overwhelm. “Is it like practicing anything else? Go back to basics?”

Bethany

Aasrel found her trying so hard to help cute. He leaned against her. “It… yeah, I guess it’s like practicing other things. You are helping.” Just by being there, giving him something to focus on.

~ Aasrel

Bethany gave him this look, like she knew he was humoring her. “I’m not doing anything. I’m just sitting here.” She clamped down on any doubt she had that he was simply saying that so she didn’t feel bad. Clamping down on those deep rooted inadequacies. They were gone before they had time to form. He didn’t need to feel that, and it make things worse for him. Bethany could indulge in self-pity later.

Bethany

“You’re sitting there feeling things,” Aasrel said and grinned. Then he hugged her. “It’ll get better. I’m sure it will.” He said, but he didn’t sound that convinced.

~ Aasrel

Bethany hugged him tightly, refusing to pull away. ‘She was sitting there feeling things.’ Well that was true. He still sounded unsure, though. Was that because he was unsure or a product of what he was feeling from others?

Bethany had always had excellent memory recall, and if she was going to sit there and feel things anyway, it might as well be something enjoyable. She didn’t know if Aasrel could hear her thoughts or not, but along with the memory of a particular night came the remembered emotions. Very softly she asked him, “What am I feeling now?”

Bethany

A wave of more pleasant emotions rushed over him as she recalled that night. Love and lust, enjoyment, happiness. Closeness. Aasrel seemed to relax and lean into her. “Happy things.” He said simply, though his voice conveyed he knew there was more to it than that.

It was then as he focused in on her and let himself be lost in the remembered feelings that he heard something from her mind: his own voice, but as she recalled it. You can search me for a hypo.

~ Aasrel

Her eyes widened and then dropped down and back up. She stepped in really close, her hands starting at his wrists and smoothing up his arms, over his shoulders, feathering into his hair and then working her way over his chest and down to his waist. Then with a grin she checked his pockets. “Hmmm you seem hypo free to me.” She took his hands and guided them to her waist and then stepped in very very close so they were almost touching. She felt breathless being that close to him. She still felt that way now. “It would have to be much closer than this.”

Bethany

Aasrel pulled her into him, as if influenced by the memory. He could almost still feel her hands reaching into his pockets. Though his telepathy was not yet strong enough to see it, as he’d once been trained to do, it seemed to jump start his own memory. It was very different for him, feeling her emotions from the time, how much she wanted him. How breathless she must have been. He grinned at her. “Fun things.”

~ Aasrel

He could feel the thrill that zinged through her as he pulled her closer and the warmth his arms created. She flushed as he grinned at her. Oh she’d recalled the memory on purpose, but his grin, the way he said ‘fun things’ made her realize exactly what it was she was sharing with him. She didn’t regret it at all, in fact she was kind of in awe of the level of closeness it created, but there was a flair of shyness of all things as well.

Bethany

Aasrel felt her shyness, but also the awe and closeness that went with it. He smiled down at her. “It is different, isn’t it?” He asked softly, looking at her. It was the difference between reading a romance novel and being there for himself to him.

~ Aasrel

Her cheeks became even more flushed. It wasn’t different for her. She couldn’t feel what he was feeling, she couldn’t share that with him. She never would. But she could tell it was different for him. She looked at up at him. Maybe it was different for her. She knew he could feel what she was feeling, and she was observant enough to know that it was affecting him. She bit her lower lip slightly. Could she get redder? She felt flushed and even more breathless. “Yeah, it is,” she moved closer so he could hold her tighter.

Bethany

Aasrel held her tighter. He knew she wanted him to. He felt her shyness that went with the deep redness of her cheeks. The way she bit her lip was adorable to him. He kissed her gently, long and slow. When the kiss ended, he rested against her. “I want more nights like that one.”

~ Aasrel

Her stomach flipped as he kissed her followed by a rush of attachment. It was incredibly poignant and heartachingly tender. It brought tears to her eyes, but she was far from sad. She laid her head on his shoulder and cuddled into him when it ended. “Me too. I miss our mornings too.” There was a warm flair of Love from her underlined by deep attachment.

Bethany

Tears reached Aasrel’s eyes too, a result of Bethany’s emotions and Aasrel not being as used to filtering others’ emotions from his own. The feeling of her love and attachment filled and warmed him and he smiled. There was a clear difference between him now and him without his empathy. “I want to resume our routine as soon as we can.”

~ Aasrel

“Can’t create a habit without enough repetition.” Bethany turned slightly so she was stretched out next to him. There were others in her profession who lost their ability to show affection, to become attached to another person. Bethany had never wanted to be like that. Oh the job required that she be able to compartmentalize; it was necessary. But like she had told him once about the robe. It reminded her of who she was outside of the job. The last few years had left Bethany disenchanted and more than a bit cynical. She didn’t feel that way with Rel.

“I know you need to eat, but can we just stay here like this for a little bit?”

Bethany

Aasrel nodded, keeping her in a tight hug. “As long as you want. The food will be there.” He said softly, resting his head against her and closing his eyes.

~ Aasrel

Bethany was stretched out beside him. She closed her eyes just concentrating on the feel of his arms around her. Her mind tripped and tumbled back and forth over memories. She’d been having trouble focusing since this whole thing began. Some days were worse than others. Today was a better day. She was able to stop her mind from wandering and focus on those pleasant memories so Aasrel could feel that and not everything else around the ship. Her mind wandered back to that horrible nightmare about her father, but more focused how she felt as Aasrel held her and cared for her through it. A little twinge of fear and heartache bubbles up bedore she clamped down on it. She curled closer holding on more tightly. Don’t let me go. I won’t make it if you change your mind. Bethany was unaware he could hear her thoughts as well.

Bethany

It took Aasrel a moment to realize he’d heard her thoughts, not just a memory, but her current thoughts. His telepathy. It made him happy, but the emotion conflicted with the heartache for her her thoughts made him feel. He hugged her tight and looked at her. “I couldn’t ever let go of you.” He said softly, hoping it wouldn’t offend her he’d overheard her mind.

~ Aasrel

Bethany was slightly embarrassed, thinking she had spoken out loud without realizing it. That passed quickly though. They had agreed to be completely open and honest with each other because navigating any relationship had been hard for Aasrel. Betazoids were raised to be brutally honest if they had to be, and without his telepathy and empathy the universe was strange and scary.

It was another moment before she realized she had not, in fact, spoken. She propped herself up on her elbow suddenly and looked down at him. “You heard that??? Your telepathy is working?” Excitement and happiness flooded her. She was beyond ecstatic for him. The donation had worked. There were a myriad of questions that flooded through her. Despite having no telepathy of her own, Bethany was still very curious about it all. She said she was okay with not having it, that she didn’t want it, but the truth was she did, she had just buried it so deeply that it was all but dead.

Bethany

Aasrel nodded. Her excitement only served to bolster his own and he grinned. “Ask whatever you want,” he said, able to feel her curiosity, tell her mind was brimming with questions. It was like being connected after being marooned on a remote island for a year.

~ Aasrel

Mostly she was curious about how it felt, how did you tell the difference between thoughts and spoken word. Was it like sound or text, like a written letter. How did he not get a headache with all the noise. How much did he hear? Mostly it was things she would have to experience for herself. “How far away can you hear?” Would he be able to hear from the bridge or her quarters, the station? Or was it like conversational distance?

Bethany

Aasrel chose to answer her spoken question first. He was surprised his telepathy hadn’t yet ticked off like his empathy had been. Then again, his empathy hadn’t ticked off either. “Well, it depends. I can sense presences outside this solar system. I’ve picked up thoughts at that distance.” He smiled at her, “So, yes if you think at me from anywhere on the ship I’ll hear you.”

~ Aasrel