Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in side-sim: New Rhythms

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Aasrel Izei (Chief Medical Officer) in side-sim: New Rhythms

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in side-sim: New Rhythms
Posted by… suppressed (51) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
“Such promises, Doc. I’ll hold you to them.” She entered the galley and made her way to the replicator and then a table. Bethany grinned as he joined her. On her plate was a single pulled pork BBQ sandwich. “Had to make sure I saved room for this mysterious, but oh so worth it dessert.”

Bethany

Aasrel eyed her plate, and then looked her in the eyes, grinning, and shook his head, pointing at the replicator. “Oh, no you don’t. Go put some greens on that plate.” He said, in a fake-stern tone.

~ Aasrel

“Ewwww greens? Those are so nasty. Do I have to eat greens?” Her voice picked up the unknown drawl again. She sighed and stood up. “If I had known you were gonna make me eat collards I would never ‘ave given you my word ta behave.” It was more pronounced the more she groused. She marched up to the replicator and then returned with a bowl, smaller than a cereal bowl, filled with something green. A dark green to be exact, some type of leaf that was very soggy and limp like it had been way over cooked, and smelled strongly of vinegar. She curled her nose at it and dutifully took a fork full.

Bethany

Aasrel gave the bowl a disgusted look and shook his head. “No, not that.” He said, swiping the bowl. He went back to the replicator and returned with a salad full of fluffy, crisp looking betazoid sweet greens, topped with some kind of berry and fruit. It smelled lightly of a topping, something sweet and tangy. He set it in front of her. “Try that.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany snickered quietly as he left. Yes she hated greens, but she had learned to eat them without complaint. When he returned she examined the salad and grinned. “My Hero.” It all looked familiar though she couldn’t recall the taste. She tried it, the berries were instantly familiar. They brought back the memory of an older man, standing in a kitchen she didn’t remember, and sneaking her cut up pieces of the fruit. There was much more to the memory, but Bethany didn’t want to look to closely. “I remember these.” Then with a grin she made very short work of the salad and sandwich.

Bethany

Aasrel finished his own food off quickly. “Better than soggy, nasty, buried in stinky sauce greens, huh?” He stacked their trays and grinned at her. “Dessert awaits. Let’s go.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany laughed, “I am sure there are foods from your childhood you didn’t like but had to eat. I can’t imagine anything worse than greens.” She stood and walked out of the galley with him. “And yes that was much better than the greens. Thank you for choosing it.”

Bethany

Aasrel gave her a look, “Of course there were! You just ate them!” He said and laughed. “No kid likes salads. Okay, some of them do, but mostly the weird ones. My mom put talaberries on it so I would eat it because they’re a very sweet fruit and I always liked them. You can also make a sauce out of them, and that’s called tala too.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany gave him a mock indignant look, “You tricked me.” She grinned briefly before looking thoughtful. “I think my grandfather used to make Tala. He would sneak me the berries while he made it. I was probably…4 maybe?”

Bethany

Aasrel grinned. “Into being healthy. Talaberries aren’t the best for you because of all the sugar but they’re better than no fruit.” He looked at her and smiled. “Tala is used in a lot of dishes. It’s very good.”

~ Aasrel

“Hey, it was replicated food. It’s all ‘nutrionally balanced’ no matter what you order.” Bethany grinned and bumped his hip with hers. “They were good. And good thing the meal was healthy. Last I checked dessert is supposed to be bad for you. Makes all those horrible childhood foods worth it.”

Bethany

“This dessert is good for you,” Aasrel said, giving her a mischievous look. “In a bit of a different way.” He added, then grinned. “It’ll be good for both of us.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany just gave him a warm look. “Not just good for me but both of us. This dessert is more and more enticing by the second.” She followed him back to his quarters.

Bethany

Aasrel led her back to his quarters. When the door closed behind her, he kissed her. It was a long, deep kiss, and then at the end of it, he pulled her gently by the arm down on the bed with him. He kissed her again, pulling her close, but broke it off before long and looked at her, “Craving dessert yet?”

~ Aasrel

Instead of cold and void, Bethany’s black eyes were warm and depthless. She kept her arms around him. “Yeah.” Her voice sighed against his cheek. “I’m giddy with anticipation.” She had a strange nervous ache in her chest too. She chose to ignore it and leaned in to kiss him again.

Bethany

“Good.” Aasrel kissed her again, hands pressed against her side at first, but then began to explore her.

---

Later, Aasrel lay next to her on the bed, smiling. His arm was still around her, his head rested against her shoulder. “Was I all talk or did I keep all those promises?” He asked, grinning playfully at her.

~ Aasrel

There was a laugh in her voice, “Oh, so many kept promises. You talk all you want, Rel. I won’t complain.” Bethany rolled completely on her side and kissed him slow and lingeringly. The movement allowed his arm to slip fully across her back. It made her feel warm, her skin buzzed like it was wrapped in microfiber. She felt content for the first time in years. And safe, and that scared the he!! out of her.

Bethany

Aasrel was relaxed and happy and calm. He felt at ease and safe. He wasn’t thinking about anything but her. He kissed her back, letting it linger. Then rested his head against her with a content sigh. “You’ll know it’s all true.” He said, grinning at her. “Definitely a worth it dessert.”

~ Aasrel

Someone who told the truth, about anything. It was refreshing and appreciated. Of course in this case there was no reason to lie or exaggerate. “Oh this is the kind of dessert I could have every day and never get tired of it.” She decided not to make a joke about how she was supposed to keep her heart rate down. He might feel bad and she had no regrets. She cuddled up next to him instead, feeling wonderfully relaxed and tired.

Bethany

Aasrel was soon asleep, the relaxation making him tired. Several days later, things were going the same. They’d been staying over in each other’s quarters each night and working during the day. That day after his sickbay shift, Aasrel went looking for her.

~ Aasrel

Their days were becoming routine. Bethany wondered if it was a wise getting so close to him. Given the mission and her life. She buried that voice, silenced it. Aasrel knew the risks of the mission. She wouldn’t and couldn’t make his choices.

She scheduled training for him twice a week. Today was not one of those days. She continued taking the higher dosage of the medication, adjusting her schedule to account for the necessary time for the dizziness to wear off. She cut back her personal training and no more caffeine or high sugar foods. Bethany was tired, she wasn’t sleeping again. Problem was she couldn’t pace the corridors. If she got up it would wake Aasrel. Then he would want to check her, then sickbay, and then Ch’zaahril would never allow the donation.

She left her office early, claiming a need to continue to familiarize herself with the ship. She paced the corridors like a caged cougar. She ended up in her quarters pacing restlessly back and forth. Finally she decided to attempt meditation. Even if she could calm her body she could relax her mind. She sat on the floor with an iridescent lamp in front of her, wrapped in a delicately embroidered silk robe. The only lights came from the lamp as she sat and breathed slowly, focusing on creating an inner stillness.

Bethany

Aasrel was told by her department that she’d gone to “familiarise herself with the ship”. So he searched the whole ship for her, before deciding to check her quarters. When he arrived at her door, he pressed the chime and waited, not wanting to disturb her.

~ Aasrel

Bethany sighed, unaware of the time. The meditation hadn’t helped much, but the quiet and time alone had calmed some of the pent up frustration. “Come in!”

Bethany

Aasrel pressed the button to open the door and stepped in. Smiling at her, he sat next to her. “Trying to relax a little?” He asked.

~ Aasrel

Bethany smiled at him and reached for his hand. “Yeah. Trying to release some of the tension. The waiting is always the worst part. The risk is over planning and changing things for a lack of action. That messes things up, makes them too complicated, or things get forgotten. How was your shift?”

Bethany

Aasrel took her hand and smiled at her. “It was busy.” It had been busy and hard and he was tired. He sat behind her and began to rub her shoulders and back, pressing on the tight muscles. “We’ll be okay. Don’t overthink it. You’ve been preparing nonstop.”

~ Aasrel

Her muscles twitched as he pressed on the knots and worked them into relaxing. Bethany took a slow breath and let out the tension. Letting her muscles relax so the impromptu massage could work better. “I know, but hasn’t everyone? The safety of ship and crew is my responsibility and half the crew isn’t here. They are ill prepared and ill planned. Unless the other spooks gave them something they didn’t tell the rest of us. I can’t protect them from here. There are too many unknowns.” Her back arched slightly as he pressed a rather painful spot. She dropped her head forward and let her shoulders droop.

Bethany

“Everyone’s safety is not your responsibility alone, so don’t go shouldering it like it is.” Aasrel worked on a particularly tight knot as he spoke. “You didn’t send them in unprepared, Command did. If anyone put them in danger, it’s Command, and there’s nothing you or I can do about it.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany shook her head. “There are four of us on this ship trained for this kind of work. Two are being closed mouthed, the third I don’t know if they are being kept in the dark too or withholding. Then there is me. And I am not being told much. They think they are playing dress up in an old western. I tried to explain what was missing, information they needed to consider to keep them safe. The captain told me to shut up, and Picklesimer … ” Bethany just stopped. It was why she was here, and then they were angry at her for doing it. And she couldn’t trust a man that kept a secret like that. All she could hope was that someone had listened. That what she said, all the times she said it, sank in with someone. “I should have stayed behind, I’m not fit for this anymore. I’m the only one who seems to know it.”

Bethany

“If you had, you wouldn’t have met me.” Aasrel said from behind her. “And if I hadn’t met you, who knows what I might’ve done.” He kept rubbing her shoulders and back as he spoke. “You are being kept in the dark. You’re doing the best you can. That’s all we can do.”

~ Aasrel

“Maybe, but sometimes it isn’t enough.” If his telepathy was working he would feel the overwhelming doubt and fear, and hear the questions that swirled like a storm. Waves of self doubt and what she should have done and what would happen because of her biggest failure - Elias. “I can’t regret meeting you, but I can’t help but feel the crew would be better off.”

Bethany

“Better off? Without you? Nonsense.” Aasrel stopped rubbing her shoulders and instead pulled her into a hug. “You’re the best Security Chief we could have. You know what you’re doing. You care. I wouldn’t have anyone else in your position if I had a choice.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany leaned back against him, her head on his shoulder. She squeezed his hands. His arms heated the silk of her robe warming her. “There are so many better security chiefs than me. And I’m no tactical officer. I didn’t need to be. We had one, but they didn’t stay with us.” This mission was pulling her into behaviors and thoughts and habits she didn’t trust herself with. She couldn’t stop it either. “I can’t… Aasrel?”

Bethany

Aasrel kept hugging her, squeezing her hands back. “We’ll be fine. We have to be.” He said. “Why would the gods let us meet only to take us away from each other?” Then he looked at her when she said his name. “What?”

~ Aasrel

She was afraid. Afraid she was going to lose herself, cross a very hard dark line she couldn’t come back from. Maybe that was why she was dying. So she could cross that line, but not live to become a monster. The universe’s way of keeping the balance. Do what had to be done, take out the shadow syndicate, and make sure it went no further. Saying that would upset him, make him worry when they could do nothing to change it, so she deflected. She squeezed his arms so he hugged her tighter. “What brought you to see me tonight?”

Bethany

Aasrel rested his head on her and shrugged. “It was a really long day and I didn’t know, I just… Wanted to.” She made him feel safe, less worried about things. Less focused on his problems.

~ Aasrel

Bethany shifted slightly so she was settled closer to him. It was okay to have this moment, wasn’t it? For just a blink in the grand scheme of things, to let herself feel content? She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. It was a completely loving gesture that surprised her. “What can I do to ease the weight of a long day?”

Bethany

If nothing else it was clear she was making Aasrel happy. He smiled as she kissed his hand. Then he squeezed her hand before letting it go, bringing his hand up to get face, gently guiding it up. Then he kissed her, letting it linger for a moment. “Exactly what you are doing,” he said softly. Then he kissed her again.

~ Aasrel

It was an achingly tender caress. “I can do that.” Bethany turned in his arms, wrapping her arms around him, pulling him closer. For long minutes the only thing that existed was them. Bethany wasn’t worried about the mission, the thousand things that might go wrong, or being sick. There was something about him that made it easy to just be.

Bethany

When their kiss ended, he rested against her, more relaxed than he’d been when he arrived. He sighed a long sigh against her. “I’m so glad we have each other, Bethany.”

~ Aasrel

She hugged him tighter for a moment. “Me too.” Of all the times for this to happen, during this mission was … well Bethany wasn’t sure if it was a gift or a cruel joke. She didn’t regret it though. Bethany didn’t much believe in gods. Not her mother’s nor her father’s. If there were such beings, they didn’t save her mother, or help those that were tortured and killed during the occupation. They made sure the work she gave 10 years of her life to meant nothing. She was determined, no matter how long they had, she would make a positive difference for him.

She set a hand on his cheek and leaned up to kiss him again. It was gentle and tender, trying to convey everything she couldn’t say.

Bethany

Aasrel was no devout follower, but he did believe in the four gods of Betazed. So did his parents and siblings. He really liked Bethany. He wanted to give her everything it didn’t seem like she’d had before. Someone who thought she was worth it. A family that would love her. Her kiss was long and gentle and tender and he melted into her, kissing her back. It was these kinds of moments he hoped never ended.

~ Aasrel

Bethany craved these moments. She wanted every one she could get. Aasrel seemed like he had lost himself after the Borg. He wanted to go back. Bethany knew that was impossible, but she wanted him to know that who he was now, both who he had been and who he had become, was amazing and worthy. It mattered for purely selfish reasons that he get to go back to his family. She didn’t care if they liked her, she just wanted him to be able to go home.

Aasrel had lost all sense of himself after the Borg. Everything felt wrong. He didn’t feel like himself. He felt lost. And of course he hated what they had done to his body. It didn’t feel like his body anymore. He couldn’t go home the way he was because he wasn’t him anymore. He wanted nothing more than to go back, to be how he was before. It was all he wanted. All he cared about.

Something that he could never have. And he hadn’t yet learned to cope with that. Bethany helped him see there might be a new him to be found. A future for him. He still struggled with that idea, though. Was it even worth it? He kept going for her, because he liked her, wanted her to feel worthy.

Her arms went around him and pulled him down with her. They were stretched out on the floor, side-by-side, focused just on each other.

Bethany

He let himself be pulled down with her and then cuddled into her. Nothing mattered but her. He just wanted to stay long that forever, without having to think about anything but how much he liked her.

~ Aasrel

Bethany pressed close to him, her hands wandering and easing the tension of a long day out of his muscles. She kept kissing him, deep and lingering and soft and quick. Eventually she stopped kissing him and rested her head on his arm. Her heart was racing, but she chose to tell herself it was his effect on her and not a continuation of the discomfort that chased her out of her office for a walk earlier.

Bethany

Her wandering hands felt really good on tight and sore muscles. When she stopped kissing him, he kissed her cheek gently and then rested his head against her, smiling. “I could lay here with you all night,” he said softly to her, looking at her, taking in the details of her face.

~ Aasrel

She was breathing heavily and in the dim light it looked like she had circles under her eyes. Bethany’s eyes danced at him as she smirked, “We could stay here, but the bed would probably be more comfortable eventually.” Her expression became thoughtful and serious as she studied his face, her gaze finally settling on his eyes. There were things and places she suddenly wanted to share with him if he stayed long enough. She really wanted him to stay.

Bethany

Aasrel chuckled, meeting her gaze. “I suppose it would, but this is more fun.” He kept his gaze on hers as her look changed and his turned puzzled. “What? What are you thinking?”

~ Aasrel

What was she thinking? She was full of emotions, unfamiliar depths of them. Some she couldn’t identify, or maybe her heart wasn’t ready to admit to them. “I keep catching myself thinking about … after this mission. Going to Betazed and Earth and just … different things. And then I remember. What the mission is and the risk.” It scared her.

Bethany

Aasrel kissed her again. “We’re going to make it out of this mission. If we don’t… We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” He looked at her again. It seemed like she was breathing hard, circles under her eyes. Should he worry? They weren’t doing anything particularly strenuous. Nor had she been when he got here. “We have to just assume we’ll make it because I’m not willing to entertain the idea we won’t.” He looked at her, a sadness and fear to his look. “I have to believe we’ll get to go to Betazoid and Earth and do whatever else we want to do.” He had nothing else.

~ Aasrel

Bethany hated to see that fear on his face. She stroked his cheek and then kissed him slowly. She rested her forehead against his. “I promise you will get to see those places. I will keep you safe and you will go. And if you want, I will go with you.”

Bethany

Aasrel nodded, his head still against hers. “I want to go with you. I can’t do it without you.” He closed his eyes, just leaning against her. “I can’t do it alone.”

~ Aasrel

“You won’t be alone, Rel.” They way he talked about his family, especially his sister, Bethany believed he would not be alone. But she would go with him, even if it was a bad idea for herself. And if things didn’t work out for her, well she knew ways to make sure he still didn’t go alone. “Besides you said you would take me to Lake El’nar and Medera.”

Bethany

“I will.” Aasrel smiled. “I can’t wait to show them to you.” He hugged her, wrapping his arms tightly around her. “Then you’re going to meet my family.” He kissed her gently. He didn’t know what to do if he couldn’t save her. Or if something happened to her on this mission. Before he met her… Well, it was lucky he had.

~ Aasrel

Bethany returned his kiss, just focusing on him. She wasn’t sure she should meet his parents. It made her nervous. He said they would accept her. He did, but they shared a common disability, but she knew he couldn’t accept himself. He was miserable and lost. That’s why it was so important to her to help him. It would make her worthy, make her not such a disappointment. A misguided idea rooted deep in childhood trauma that she wasn’t aware that was there.

Bethany

They would accept him. They would accept her, too. It was him who couldn’t accept himself. He didn’t know why. It didn’t matter to him that she wasn’t telepathic. And it wasn’t just that he didn’t have his telepathy, it was the implants, too. His perception of himself.

But he didn’t know how to put words to those feelings. He kept the kiss going for a long moment. He didn’t need her to help him. She was worthy to him whether she could donate to him or not. He just wanted his telepathy back because he was used to it, and because he thought it would give him his sense of self back.

~ Aasrel

When the kiss ended, Bethany cuddled into him. She tried not to yawn, even as she felt jittery from her racing heart. “I wish you weren’t part of this mission, but I am really glad you are, so I got to meet you.”

Bethany

“I’m glad I am too. I… I can’t imagine a life in which I didn’t get to meet you.” He hoped that didn’t scare her, with how fast things seemed to be moving between them. He hugged her tightly to him. “I took this assignment because, well… I figured it didn’t really matter what happened to me.”

~ Aasrel

It felt a lot like the whole crew was chosen because they were expendable. Bethany hated it. Every Star Fleer officer knew there was risk, but this went beyond that. “I don’t want to try and imagine a life like that.” Bethany wasn’t scared by his comment. Surprised by how fast it happened, but not scared. She had learned a long time ago to accept happy moments when they happened. “It does matter what happens to you. It matters to your family. It matters to me.”

Bethany

It was a suicide mission and Aasrel had known it. But he’d figured it didn’t matter, he felt dead anyway. That was why he hadn’t seemed that shaken when he’d nearly been killed by Vaec. He cared about Bethany, and that was it. If he made it back from this and she didn’t, he didn’t know what he would do. There were so many things he could say, but he didn’t know how to put words to his feelings. He rested his head against her and sighed, “I know.”

~ Aasrel