Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Chief Intelligence Officer) in While the Cat’s Away…

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in While the Cat’s Away…

Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Chief Intelligence Officer) in While the Cat’s Away…
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Refilling her glass, her hand rested on the bottle at its shoulder. She looked up at Bethany and a look passed through Shara’s eyes before she slipped out of her chair and shuffled through the PADDs on her desk. She moved back and slid the PaDD across to Gadi with a soft smile.

“That’s her, my first born. I got to meet her Bethy. You won’t find her on any of my records, for now. Been too dangerous. I didn’t know her name until I was on R&R before I came here. Her name is Nadine. I was her mother for a month before I realized I was equipped to do it alone. I let others raise her and I’m glad I did. She’s wonderful, strong and resilient in the face of adversity like the other women in this family. and I have this urge to tell everyone about her, because I’m so damn proud to be her mama, even if it’s complicated and hard after all these years. But when I said I wished I had a few less secrets, this is partly what I meant. I don’t care about old missions, though some affected me harder than others, but finding family again: Micah, Nadine, Faye, after not having so many for so long. It’s breathed life into me in a way I don’t know I can fully explain. It’s why I don’t retire. Because why in some moment I feel old, other days I’m astonished at how this has all gone down and I feel like a kids again, eager to see what’s around the corner. I’m not afraid of it anymore.”

OOC: Nadine, Shara’s doppelgänger: https://i.imgur.com/lJyicsa.png

Commander Calloway, CIO

Bethany listened and the emotion she could hear in Shara’s voice made her smile. “That’s really wonderful, Shara. I’m happy for you.” Bethany genuinely was. She couldn’t imagine her life turning out in the end like Shara’s. If Bethany was honest she couldn’t imagine being Shara’s age. She hadn’t really thought about that either. Bethany tipped back another swallow of the rum. “You know Shara, you have a lot to return to. I know it’s not in our nature, and I know you and Micah and Blue have a lot of history going on here. But, if you decide the risk isn’t worth it, you tell me, I’ll take your place whatever it is. You or Micah.”

Emotion welled and Shara laughed through it. It was too late to back out now. She knew it, Micah knew, Blue knew it. Hell, even through their cryptic message to Faye and Nadine would have her daughters understanding that Shara was already committed. She always completed her mission, even if sometimes the mission itself changed. If she had to die to make sure this mission went off without a hitch, she would. She’d been willing to sacrifice her life most of her life, long before even the Maquis and Starfleet. It was the vow she had made early on, the only one other than her wedding vows she ‘d ever made: to protect those that couldn’t protect themselves. It wasn’t an attempt at martyrdom, but the understanding that someone had to step up and take that risk, make that sacrifice.

Bethany wasn’t sure if she believed Shara would take the offer or not. It wasn’t in their nature to let others take risks for them, but after this long, Bethany wanted to make sure Shara made it back to her family. “But none of us are really alone in this right? At least in theory. Blue will be once he gets in, no matter what precautions we take.”

“Not if I do my job right, he won’t,” Shara said quietly.

“You know what I mean. We can take all the precautions, intel, recon, and strategy we have, but if he goes in physically alone, no matter how much back up he’s given, for critical moments he will be alone. Unless one of us physically goes in with him.” Bethany knew how critical those seconds could be, when you had only your own wits and skill to keep you alive, no matter how good your back up was. Even being there, physically with a partner didn’t always mean you could protect each other.

“Story of my life,” Shara said, not to discount Gadi’s comments, but as a reminder that she knew the score.

Bethy threw back the last of her glass, “It doesn’t feel right, any of this. I feel on edge and waiting for the explosion. I will admit, but only here, knowing Balthazar had something to do with this, in helping us, that he is connected in some way, is keeping me up all nights. I don’t like it. I am being totally paranoid about it all.”

Gadi, CoS

“What’s the fear? Not just about him though. What is the actual worry? That’s he’s going to screw us over for his own gain?” Shara said, following with a generous swallow of rum.

Commander Calloway, CIO

Bethany ran her fingers through her hair, combing the length out of her face, but making it messy. “Elias is a man of his word, he said he wouldn’t harm us, but he is a master of manipulating his word as well. I fear that this is just another part of his game.” Her had arched back to stare at the ceiling for a moment. “I fear that I won’t catch the loop hole in time to save us all from him. I was the only one successful in tracking him, finding him, but I never caught him. The day I did, he died right in front of me…I had him. And now…obviously not. He got away again. I’m doubting myself, Shara, myself, my skill, my sanity. Why didn’t I kill him the moment I saw him? This mission is dangerous, insane, but doable with great cost. Add Elias Balthazar to the mix and … I don’t know if I can do it, I’m not sure that I am an asset rather than a liability.”

Gadi, CoS

Fingertips drawing circles on her glass, Shara nodded. She wasn’t going to discount Bethany’s fear, nor would she say everything would be fine. Because it might not be. She poured more into Gadi’s glass. “So, here’s the deal. Elias Balthazar is a piece of work. These people we are going after are the same. I get it. I don’t trust him either. And the thing about people like Balthazar is that they are loyal only to themselves. He wouldn’t have been brought into the picture unless he had something to offer us that would allow us to accomplish our mission. It sucks but that is the reality.”

Bethany swallowed the refill almost in one, but it was like at the last minute she decided to exercise control. “I get why they put him to help us, and I have NO doubt his help, tricks, pointers will make a difference. It’s the price that worries me.” She shook her head and then did finish the glass. “I admit when he died I actually prayed thanks to every god I had ever heard of that I would never have to deal with him again. It’s more than him though. So much is just wrong. I feel like I should be elsewhere, my duty lies elsewhere…” Bethany shook her head.

Shara dipped her head to find and hold Bethany’s gaze. “Be cautious about him yes, but right now you’re on the defensive and giving him all the control. Take it back. Know that we’re in this together and if it’ll make you feel better, if he betrays us, I’ll be the first to willingly put a hole in his head, and since you did that before, just imagine how effective both of us will be!” She downed the rest of her glass and gave Bethany a wink.

Commander Calloway, CIO

Bethany grinned, “Oh that would be scary.” But Bethany knew how Elias controlled everything. She couldn’t take back what she never had. Believing she had any control was what got so many on their team dead. She wished she could contact T’Jal. She could really use Casela right now. But that would never happen again. “You ever get over the ones you lost?”

Gadi, CoS