Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Chief Intelligence Officer) in Calloway’s Quarters- Sins of the Mother
Shara drew the hairbrush through her plain brown hair, untangling the tiny knots at the ends that told it was nigh time for a trim. She had never been a particularly vain woman but even in her middle years she knew that she was what most Humans would consider beautiful. Her hair though… it was bland and for that very reason she loved it. It was one of the least striking things about her, that helped her blend into the background when she wanted to. It had a purpose.

A beep registered in her mind and turned in the direction of her desk. Her tiny officer’s quarters had basic amenities and were definitely fit for purpose, but it meant that even in the washroom she could hear anything happening in the rest of her space. Their space? Her and Micah were going to have to figure out what to do about their quarters situation, and they would, soon enough.

Setting the brush down on the edge of the sink, Shara moved out, grabbing her black satin robe from the hook and slipping it over her nightgown clad body. Tying the sash around her waist, she settled at the desk and saw the call notation. Faye. Something was up. She had used their code and had made the effort to patch through a call from the Delta Quadrant. She frowned as she connected them, the screen displaying her daughter’s face and the flicker of a tail she knew to be Tess.

“Faye, is everything okay?”

Faye seemed to take a moment to find words. =/\=Yes… ish. I’m okay, but… things… we need to talk.=/\=

Her daughter’s words were weighty, implying something difficult ahead of them. Well, she had already been the instigator, why not Faye? “Okay,” Shara said at length, studying her daughter as much as Faye was studying her. “I’m free currently, so… what up?”

Faye inhaled. =/\=Before we get into the nitty gritty, I want to say a couple things. Firstly… thank you. Thank you for rescuing from the Tal Shiar, for giving me my life back. That I’m thriving and growing at all right now is because of you. And I know in all the mess that happened when you were here, we never really got around to talking about that. So, thank you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to truly express how much I mean that.=/\=

Okay, did not see that coming. Shara sucked in a breath. “Oh Faye-” Her vision blurred slightly and she would have continued but Faye kept going.

=/\=When I was little you were always this enigma. This thing I couldn’t figure out. You brushed off questions that went too deep and you rebuked my need to understand. And as an adult, I think I get it. You were protecting yourself from things you didn’t want to dump on the rest of us. But I’ve always resented it. Still do. But… these things are complicated and messy. Goodness knows I know that all too well. So here’s the thing, Mom… we need to have some honest conversations about things you might not want to talk about. You owe me that much as your daughter. And in return here’s the thing I can promise you: Nothing, and I mean nothing will stop me from loving you. I’m not going to walk out of your life. You rescued me from that hellhole, so woman you’re stuck with me from here on out come Hell or high water. Or both depending on the day.”

Shock was the first thing she felt before she had this irrational need to laugh. And so she did. Faye was a delicate as a bull in a china shop a lot of the time. But it gave herself a moment to process what her daughter had just declared. “Oh, well in that case I guess I’ll just have to make do, now won’t I?” The joke was a reflex, a cover, even she knew that but one look at Faye and Shara knew that Faye knew it too.

=/\=Uh huh. And now that we got that out of the way, I can tell you that I called Gavin.=/\= Faye paused , watching Shara who’s only thought was Oh, crap. Inevitable. =/\=I can’t tell you how lovely it was to be the one to tell him that his own sister was not only still alive but back in my life after all these years. Really made my day,=/\= she said, lips pressed into a thin line.

Oh the sarcasm! It was one of Faye’s trademarks though, but it spoke of the uncomfortable conversation ahead and for a brief moment Shara wished she hadn’t answered the call.

Shara wasn’t sure what to say exactly, though she swallowed down that uncomfortable feeling of guilt. Yes, she had been avoiding calling her brother, unable to handle the inevitable arguments that would follow. After all that had happened in recent weeks and months, she was just trying to get herself on stable ground. But that didn’t make it okay, did it? It hadn’t been Faye’s job, and yet her lack of action had defaulted that responsibility to her daughter. And she hated herself for that. But what could she do now? It was done. Just another instance where she missed the mark or fell short of expectations. Ah well, story of her life.

And yet, Faye’s face before her told her a story she normally would want to avoid. “Faye…” Shara inhaled. and blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have been you. But I just… I couldn’t.”

Silence filled the subspace channel between them, crossing all those lightyears and through a worm hole no less. An almost resigned expression crossed her daughter’s expression. =/\=No, it shouldn’t have. But it was. And… he was pretty nice, actually. I’m glad I did it. Though who knows what will happen if he and his family show up at the wedding.=/\=

Family. Ahh, yes, the wife and daughter. Faye’s aunt and cousin. Well… sh!t. This was going to be some reunion, wasn’t it? But at least it was all for a happy reason, unlike hers and Faye’s.

It was like Faye could read her expressions, and thus her mind, despite her silence. =/\=We’ll deal with that then, whatever it looks like. But it got me thinking about family again. About what it means to me now, and I realized a couple things. One, you and I have to deal with something, so that, two, I can ask something of you in a reasonable way.=/\=

“Oh?” Shara said, folding her arms on the desk and leaning forward. “And what is it that you want to ask of me?” She hated the wariness in her tone, but it couldn’t be helped.

Faye seemed to match her posture, those beautiful stormy pale green eyes of hers gazing intently. =/\=I want you to stand with me, and I can’t have you do that if there is still this… tension between us. It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to you either.=/\=

She blinked. Whatever Faye might have asked, that had not been even close to what Shara had been anticipating. “You… what?”

=/\=I want you to stand beside me as a witness. Matron of Honour. Whatever word you want to use. None of this would have happened without you, you know that right?=/\=

“Faye..”

=/\=No, don’t. Don’t brush it aside. We didn’t go there because, well, crisis time, but while the bomb you dropped on me while I was in the brig was rather life-shattering, it was necessary. I can see now that it was a kindness, for both of us. I needed to know that it was you who helped me get free, get to safety. You gave me my life back,=/\= Faye whispered.

Tears blurred her vision and for a moment Shara just gazed downwards at the desk. When she finally lifted her gaze again, she nodded. “I’d be honoured.”

Faye smiled, though it was brief. =/\=I’m glad. But like I said, we need to deal with something first.=/\=

Oh yes, she wasn’t going to like whatever this was, that was for certain. Faye’s expression had shifted far too grim for Shara’s comfort. “Okay…”

More silence. =/\=I am going to ask a question and I need a truly honest answer or else we won’t be able to get past this one bit.” Shara nodded, if slowly. Faye inhaled visibly. =/\= When you went on that last Maquis mission, when you left us to help them, I asked, no, begged you to stay. I couldn’t explain my intuition then, but something told me that if you left, that was it, we’d never see you again. And I begged you to stay. But you left anyway. It was more than just duty, that much I’ve always known, but, why did you leave?=/\=

Such a simple question but it took Shara’s breath away. She should have anticipated those words and yet, she was entirely taken aback. How easily Faye was able to do that. She was one of a few people who could do so with her. Micah was the other. Edward had been one too. See, the question was deeper than it seemed. It wasn’t just ‘Why did you leave?’, it was ‘Why did you abandon us?’. It broke Shara’s heart because she felt certain she couldn’t give Faye the answer she desperately wanted to hear. Something that absolved Shara of some unwritten crime.

Gaze downward, the elder Calloway had to harden her core to keep from crumbling. Micah was out of sight of the screen and she didn’t dare look at him. But even as she acknowledged his presence with her mind, she knew that he deserved this answer too. For the future. As a protection for both of them. There had been many reckonings lately, but this one had been decades in the making too, and just as important as the others. “Because I’m not as courageous as you, Faye. Because I lacked the ability to be in one place for too long. Because things were happening then that made me want to flee and it had nothing to do with you or your father. He understood, your father. He always had. It was his gift and the reason I trusted him those first days when we had met on Arkelis.” Shara looked up. “Having Gavin write us off so callously… it hurt too much. It meant that for better or worse, Midos was lost to me. But so was Tracken. It was never the home for me that it was for you and Edward.” Tears slipped over her cheeks, carving paths of sorrow. “I wanted it to be, but I was restless there, like I knew it wasn’t permanent. I can’t explain it more than that. I just had to be… anywhere else.” Shame twisted her stomach and Shara thought earlier conversations with Faye had been hard. She had been so very wrong. No, this might just be the one that crushed her.

[To be continued…]

~Faye & Shara Calloway