Posted by Civilian Micah Pikelsimer (Federation Security Agent) in Tennessee, Earth - Home Sweet Home

Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Chief Intelligence Officer) in Tennessee, Earth - Home Sweet Home

Posted by Civilian Micah Pikelsimer (Federation Security Agent) in Tennessee, Earth - Home Sweet Home
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Micah stood, open mouthed, for almost a full minute. Finally, pushing through the shock, he knelt down beside his wife and moved the guitar and put his arm around her.

“Easy, hun… easy… shhhhhhh…” he said softly, gently rocking her with his own body. He didn’t press, didn’t talk… he just let her cry. Finally he said “And here I thought waking up married was gonna be the show-stopper for the day. Way to up the ante, hun.” and he half-smiled at her.

Micah

Shara laughed through her tears, and that simple act of humour allowed her to catch her breath and calm herself a bit. “Wasn’t planned, I swear.”

Resting against Micah, her breath was still catching but it slowly was returning to normal. “It shouldn’t even matter. I mean, no one knows. No one has ever known. Not even Edward. And I’m legally not allowed to reach out, even if I knew where she is or even who she is. But then all this talk of families and weddings. I just…” She shook her head.

Looking up at Micah, sadness filled the space where the tears had been. “I was sixteen, Micah. Living with my twelve year old brother and my emotionally abusive alcoholic father. My boyfriend didn’t want a baby and I didn’t know what to do. So I ran away. I left Midos and didn’t look back. I told myself that after I had the baby and gave it up for adoption that I would go back. But… I couldn’t. It was too much, too hard. I never went back. Gavin’s never really forgiven me for that and I don’t blame him.”

“I tried,” she whispered. “I tried to be her mom. I made it a whole month, but… I couldn’t do it. It was too much, too hard. I had no one, anywhere, so… I gave her up. Closed adoption. I have no legal status as her mother and I am not allowed access to her record. If she wanted to find out who I was, she was allowed when she turned twenty. I’m sixty-four. You do the math.” She looked over the vista, and the huge varied land that seemed to reflect her ever battered heart. She had spoken truly that day Micah asked her if she had regrets. She didn’t regret giving up the baby she had named in her head Lila, but that babe had left a hole in her she could never quite fill.

~Shara

Micah looked out over his… their… land. “Pasts… they’re a bitch.” he said flatly. “Aw, hun… Im sorry. You… you didn’t deserve that. You or her. And from whay you’ve said… well, I at least think you did right by her. Sixteen… thats no age to raise a baby. Not on your own. You gave that babe the best shot you could, Sha. I know you did… ‘cause thats who you are. And you don’t carry hurt like that around fifty years if you didn’t care, or if you tossed in the towel before you had not other choice.” He hugged her close and looked out over the mountains. He was silent for a long time. Then, as if discussing the weather he said-

“Want me to pull the file? You cant… but I sure as hell can.”

Micah

Could she do it? Could she let him? Sure, she could have gotten anyone else to do so over the years, but there had been reasons not to. Really good ones too! In her particular work, her value as an asset was in a small part her lack of connections that could be used against her or anyone else. The lone wolf. But that wasn’t her anymore and she had people, family, in her life again.

She shook her head a little. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t. But there’s a piece of the puzzle that maybe tips the balance. See, when I gave birth to her and right through to my marriage to Edward and having Faye I went by my mother’s maiden name, Costa. I didn’t wanted to be associated with my father. But after we learned about the Maquis and once it finally hit me that Faye and Edward were gone I changed my name. But I was in the Delta Quadrant and then when we got home I accepted a commission and was recruited. But I was Shara Calloway now. I was no longer the Shara Costa that gave birth to that girl. And I knew that when I changed my name I was going to make it drastically harder for her to find me if she wanted to, if it was even possible for her to. I took Edward’s name, but it cost me something.” And she started crying again. It wasn’t quite an answer to his question, but just another variable to add to the pile.

~Shara

“Ok… so how about this. Let me look and see if she has looked for you. If she has, you know there’s an interest on her end. If she hasn’t, well… then that’s as good an answer as any.” He nudged her with a shoulder and said “Right… wife?” and smiled.

Micah

She hadn’t known before this morning that she’d tell him this huge secret of hers, but a part of her had known on the Manhattan when he’d invited her to Tennessee to share coffee on his land and unburden her soul that all her secrets were safe with him. She was safe with him.

Shifting her position so she was sitting more comfortably on the rock, Shara reached for her guitar, the zipper gliding around the circumference of the case. Pulling out the guitar she had had for almost twenty years, that had survived the Delta Quadrant, she began to tune. “I always knew I could be at peace with it all if I knew she’d been okay. If Lila had had a good life.” Shara turned her gaze on Micah, tuning by ear and memory. “That’s been the hardest part. Watching Faye struggle I’ve always felt like I’d done wrong by my girls somehow. It’s not rational or even based in reality, but I hated seeing her go through all that. And to think even for a second that my other girl had had just as rough a go at it, well, it tore me up on the regular.” A secret burden she couldn’t share with anyone until now.

“So… okay. Look for me. Don’t tell me when or anything like that. Find out if she wanted to know who I was and I guess we’ll take it from there.” And thus she began to pick out a tune, an old one that she had first started to hum in her head that first terribly difficult month with Lila, a song she’d created just for her. She had made one for Faye too, later, songs she hummed that had no name other than the child she associated it with. That they might not even recognize except for long held memories from the cradle.

~Shara