Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Sharah Fayth (Chief Science Officer) in side-sim: Putting Ourselves First

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Joseph Rainns (Chief Of Security) in side-sim: Putting Ourselves First

(snip)

She smiled, glad that he liked her choice of the record, ‘I hope so, I try.’ Sharah easily knew just about anyone, but it wasn’t that way with Joseph. His mind was his own unless he let her, and that, in her opinion, had been a beautiful gift. The chance to get to know someone in a genuine way. At the same time though he shared everything with her, never baulking at her gift. She thought about his question. ‘I won’t lie and say that this whole situation doesn’t make me fearful. I was thinking about it while I was working. What will happen to our families? Not seeing them again.’ She glanced at her ring, ‘That they won’t be there to see us get married or have children. That’s not scary I guess, but makes me sad. But this is the unknown, and we are trained for this, but…’ She sipped the wine and took a deep breath, ‘we know the dangers back home, we don’t know what’s here. What if we don’t make it back? What if you get hurt?” She stopped there because the what ifs could go out of control and she knew that. It was a great skill, to ask what if and see the possibilities, but it was a hurdle when they turned negative. She took his glass and nodded toward the bedroom. ‘The water should be nice and hot now.’
Lt jg Fayth, CSO

Joseph took a sip of wine. The situation was not pleasant, he would be the first to admit it. But deep down, he truly felt they would get back. Even if they didn’t he could still have his family. All of that comforted him. ‘It will be rough imzadi, but we will make it. ‘All of the threats the unknown present us with are not new, they just come in different packages. ’ He nodded his head, “I should certainly hope so, haven’t had a chance to enjoy a good splash in some time.’

Lt. Jg. Joseph Rainns- COS

Sharah smiled softly, ‘I know we will. I thrive on adversity, remember? I’m worried and sad, but I’m not giving up.’ She looked him in the eyes, and with complete conviction, ‘I won’t be afraid.’ How many times had he told her to not be afraid? It was like a mantra, and she would keep saying it to remind herself. She walked through the bedroom to the bathroom and the waiting hot tub. The scent was probably unfamiliar to Joseph. It had a slight hint of vanilla, but not as sweet, more reminiscent of the smoothness of vanilla than anything else. But also had a hint of warmed spice that was relaxing. She placed his wine glass to the side with hers, and waited for him to get in the hot water. She could see the tension in the way he held his shoulders. She had no experience in message, except for the PT courses she took at the academy, but she knelt by the back of the tub, getting some of the oil she’d added to the water, began to gently rub it into his shoulders.
Lt jg Fayth, CSO

After changing into clothes more suitable for the hot tub Joseph stepped into the bathroom. The smell was indeed unfamiliar, but not unpleasant. Joseph sat at the steps of the tub, submerging the bottom half of his body. He felt Sharah began to rub his shoulders. Her hands always felt nice, and this occasion was no different. He exhaled as he could feel the tension loosening in his muscles. He closed his eyes, ‘Feels real good when you do that dear.’ He thought. He knew he was in love with a strong woman, it was part of the reason they had fallen in love, he respected her grit and drive.

Lt. Jg. Joseph Rainns-COS

Sharah worked at a particularly stubborn knot just below his neck, with the heel of her hand. ‘I’m glad, Imzadi. I want you to relax.’ He was in charge of the ship’s safety, and that was no small undertaking when considering outside threats. Dealing with threats from inside the crew, and not even attacks, but selfishness and stupidity, he didn’t need that. Sharah had a protective streak when it came to Joseph, but not in a confront the bad guys type of way. She was no good at that, but here she could do something. ‘I love you too, Imzadi.’ She kept at the knots until he’d sunk far enough into the water that she couldn’t reach them in his back anymore, and focused on his shoulders. The heat from the water should do the rest. She kissed the side of his neck. “Computer, lower the lights to 50%.” She wrapped her arms around him from behind, letting her love for him flow between them. ‘What else can I do?’ He was strong and patient, especially with her, and she wanted to make his day better.
Lt jg Fayth, CSO

If Sharah wanted Joseph to relax, she was succeeding. Although Joseph did not want her to feel like she was obligated to do anything. That slight feeling, that he always felt whenever Sharah began acting this way crept into his head. ‘Love, my happiness is not your responsibility.’ He thought softly as the lights dimmed and she kissed his neck. ‘Please do not feel like you have to please me or do anything to make me feel good, my mental state is my own responsibility.’ He turned back to her to look at her. ‘Your presence and attention is all I need.’ He thought, flashing her a smile.

Lt. Jg. Joseph Rainns-COS

‘Joseph Rainns stop it. I’m not doing this because I have to. You don’t make me, I’m not afraid you’ll leave me if I don’t. I do it because I love you, I care about you.’ Her thoughts turned a little more intimate, ‘Maybe I like knowing that my actions bring you pleasure. Is that so wrong?’ She rested her head against the back of his shoulder. ‘My mental state is my own, too. But you insist on doing something about it. You even get irritated with me when I won’t let you. You do it because you love me. Why is what I’m doing different? You’ve had a harder than normal day, and I love you, so I want to help.’ She wouldn’t let the thought form that it was different because she was sick. That was a self-recrimination she’d lived with a long time that he’d helped her forget. She loved him, all of him. Not because he protected her, shielded her. But for the man he was. If he never did it again, she’d still love him. She returned his smile, ‘You’ve got my presence, I’m right here. And my attention, all of it, focused on making you relax, Hot Shot.’
Lt. jg Fayth, CSO

One of his most persistent flaws Joseph had was his idea of independence. He lived in a duality, one in which he wanted to protect and provide for the people he loved as much as possible. While at the same time he desired to be protected and provided for by them as little as possible. He knew in the moment he needed to let go of this urge. He nodded. ‘Sorry,’ he thought, ’ I like to maintain my independence to a fault.’ He sat for a moment in reflection. Hot shot was beginning to become a nick name, and Joseph was unsure how to feel about it. ‘If you are asking, joining me in the water would be nice.’ He thought after a few moments.

Lt. Jg. Joseph Rainns-COS

Sharah left the room, changing into a bathing suite. The nick name ‘Hot Shot’ had started when the cadets at the academy found out she was dating Joseph. His ability to sneak up on cadets that were up to no good had spread like wildfire. ‘I meant it affectionately, I didn’t realize you didn’t like it. I won’t call you that anymore.’ She returned and stepped into the water, but the size of the tub meant she had to sit on his lap. ‘I like your independence. I don’t want you to ever feel like you are losing it.’ He had wondered often enough if being around her would make him lose that. It was difficult, if she stayed settled in her spot he wondered if she was influencing his thoughts, if she left he’d be upset that she didn’t trust him. And it occurred to her that tonight wasn’t easy, everything was always easy for them. Maybe they were both more stressed than they realized.
Lt jg Fayth, CSO

Joseph shook his head. ‘I haven’t decided if I like it dear, just feeling it out.’ He put his arms around her as she joined him. ‘Everything is fine imzadi, I just have a few character flaws to work out with myself.’ He kissed her patiently on the lips. ‘But don’t worry about us, I know I am independent, and I know that you trust me.’ He thought, kissing her again. He pushed his own stress out of his mind, as he knew that would deescalate Sharah’s stress levels, at least a little bit. He replaced his anxiety with his love, and gripped her tighter.

Lt. Jg. Joseph Rainns- COS