Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Joseph Rainns (Chief Of Security) in Queen of the Arboretum

(snip)

Joseph felt Sharah’s pain, and he knew why. He shook his head. “Sharah I don’t regret coming here, if I had to do it all over again, I would do it the exact same way.” He looked over to with a tired smile. “My mind just goes places sometimes, and its been there a little bit lately.” He gripped her hand tightly. “You are so much more than a consolation prize dear, you are the trophy itself.” He put his free arm around her. “I can’t stop policing dear, if I don’t do it, nobody else will, and I am not going to let law and order fall apart on this ship.” He thought about her suggestions for a few moments. “I may have to take that into consideration though, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to get the JO’s on this ship ready for whatever craziness is in store for us.” He looked down to her. “But no matter what happens I want you to know that I would rather be stranded out here with you than be in the Alpha quadrant without you.”

Lt. Jg. Joseph Rainns- COS

She held his hand and nodded, “I know you wouldn’t change it. And your mind is entitled to go there. This is a hard situation. And though I wouldn’t change being here with you, I would never have wished this fate on you.” She allowed his arm to pull her closer to him and she felt the pressure of his grip against her hand. She remembered the last time they had sat in an arboretum like this. He’d been ashamed of how hard he’d been gripping her hand, declaring how important she was to him, despite his doubts of only hours before hand. She smiled, they always seemed to come back to this. “I’m sorry for my self doubt, Joseph, please don’t think I doubt you or us, it’s just my mind goes there sometimes too.” She ran the fingers of her free hand through his hair, it always relaxed him, and he needed to relax. “You will be my husband, the father of my children. You are and always will be my Imzadi, even to the ends of known existence.” It was no mistake that she told him the same thing they had told each other that day in Challenger’s arboretum. And she meant it just as much now as she did then, even more so. “Joseph, Imzadi, I don’t sit in my spot while we’re on duty, it creates distractions we don’t need, but that doesn’t mean, when things are hard, or you need a break, for just a moment or more, I know you can’t reach for me, simply think it, and I’ll hear you. We all need a way....” She lifted her head from her shoulder and looked at him. “You heard me. I wasn’t in my spot, but you ‘heard’ me. What I was thinking and feeling.” At least a little bit that was something to be happy about. His telepathy was getting stronger, or simply their connection, or both. She smiled at him, taking in the moment simply for the joy it brought. She kissed his cheek, still running her fingers through his hair, and settled back against him again. “I’m always here for you, however you need me.”
Lt. jg Fayth, CSO

Sharah was right, Joseph did need to relax, and just being near her certainly helped in that manner. He simply held her in his arms as she talked, closing his eyes, basking in her presence. He opened his eyes when he felt her look up at him. “I was able to hear you when you directed a thought towards me, even on the night when your voice echoed in my mind.” He replied calmly, relaxing a little. As she settled back to him, he closed his eyes once more, “I know you are, and will always be, as will I for you.” He said in a hushed voice. Sharah would feel some anxieties creeping back within him. “It’s just this crew, some of them are starting to lose it, and I feel as though I have to provide the law and order around here, if I let myself fall into madness like the rest, we won’t have a ship to get back home with.” He looked down at Sharah. “We, or at least humans, like to think we are morally evolved from our past selves. I think that illusion is starting to crack now that we are stranded in the middle of nowhere.” He shook his head, “And if I crack, this ship will descend into total chaos, and I can’t let that happen.”

Lt. Jg. Joseph Rainns- COS

Sharah listened, he needed to talk, not have her give him solutions. She couldn’t fix this, but neither could he. Everyone had their own way of coping, and this was an extreme situation, even if they were trained for extremes. Sharah knew exactly what he was talking about. She could feel it, the tensions, the jumpiness, the anxiety, but also was the strength and determination. It was rocking her in a storm that felt out of control building to hurricane force, but behind every storm was the calm that she just had to wait for, and hope it didn’t drag her under. ‘Imzadi,’ she whispered into his mind, the sound soothing, a glimpse of that sea he created for her. Even though the one she lived in was nothing like that at the moment. ‘You won’t let that happen. I know you, Hot Shot,’ she kissed his cheek, moving to sit with him, but in front of him staring into his eyes. ‘Don’t be afraid.’ She reached out for his mind, pulling slowly so she was holding his. ‘Watch me,’ she pulled at the anxiety about the increasing number of confrontations being reported and firmly pushed it away and out of his mind, then she picked another and pushing it away too. ‘Sort out the negative and let your mind clear.’ She smiled with just a bit of humor. He’d done this for her on more occasions they could count, and she hoped that it would not only help him, but also, at least, make him smile as she reversed their roles.
Lt jg Fayth, CSO

Joseph allowed her to sort through his thoughts. He smiled as her efforts to comfort him were mildly successful. ‘You know my head is a steel trap imzadi,’ he thought with a chuckle. He felt the surface level anxieties being scooped out, but the source of his anxiety was still there, and he doubted, and did not want, Sharah to touch it. He did feel relief in the moment though, which was all he needed. ‘I know it won’t happen, but I know that it could, and that is dangerous enough for me.’ He thought with clarity.

Lt. Jg. Joseph Rainns- COS

‘I know it is, that’s why I’m so safe there.’ She felt his desire for her to not delve too much, and she respected that. She let him slip back into himself. She would rather he share it with her, but she also knew he would when he was ready to do so. She didn’t need to push it. But there was something she wanted to ask him. It might be part of or connected to that source of anxiety, she wasn’t sure. ‘You were very angry earlier. I could feel it.’ She’d only felt him that angry once before, actually more so, that time had been rage, unmitigated rage. She’d been scared then, not of him, but the situation. And of course now was not the time to trigger that particular memory. ‘Do you want to tell me about it? Or should I distract you?’ Sometimes Joseph needed to just deal with things, and sometimes he needed to walk away, as it were, to clear his head. She was more than willing to do either or both.
Lt jg Fayth, CSO

Rainns nodded, “Some NE’s pulled a stunt in the gym, threatened to kill themselves, they are holding cells for now. I think their punishment was light to say the least.” He scowled, “If I had my way they would have a couple of months to sit and think about what they did, and then we would through them out of starfleet as soon as we got back home.” He shook his head, “Can’t allow that sort of conduct to take place on this vessel right now.” He looked at Sharah, ‘I could delve in more, but first I want to know what the nature of this distraction is.’ He said, his spirit momentarily shifting away from his more solemn and bitter attitude.

Lt. Jg. Joseph Rainns- COS

Sharah nodded, “If they were trying to kill themselves then perhaps they should be locked up in medical under watch? Under normal circumstances the punishment would probably be harsher.” Pulling the details from his thoughts as he talked, “The captain walks a fine line. She has to do something, but she can’t let the rest of the crew think that she’s not aware of their stress. She wants those who are on edge to seek out help, but not go to extremes. I don’t envy her being captain right now.” She squeezed his hand, “No you can’t allow it. What they did was wrong and selfish. And when we return, and we will, all of our actions will be evaluated, including theirs.” She sat up, grinning at him. ‘Distractions come in many forms, Imzadi. We could walk the aboretum, we could play chess, or…’ she stood up and pulled him to his feet, blushing furiously. ‘I was thinking, you, me, and the hot tub.’ Standing in his arms, her face hidden, ‘Just let me put my equipment away.’
Lt jg Fayth, CSO

Joseph knew everything his fiancé said was correct. He just wished there was still a way to slap down insubordination of that kind more harshly, it would help him sleep better at night. Sharah was also right about evaluations though, and Joseph wanted to make sure he didn’t ruin his career with his current disposition. His eyes and mind lit up at her suggestion though. ‘I would love some time in a hot tub.’ Joseph thought. One of pros of being on such a large ship as Ark Angel was the pleasures afforded to its officers, which Joseph had neglected for the most part so far.

Lt. Jg. Joseph Rainns-COS

‘After you’ve relaxed some we can hash it out and see if we can find a solution.’ Sharah would never tell Joseph how to do his job, she was not security minded. She’d picked up a few things from Joseph, but it wasn’t her area of expertise, but she was good at looking at a problem from different angles. She hugged him briefly and went back to where she’d been working. She took the tools and then the basket of figs and returned the tools to the locker. She rubbed at her temples as she put things away.
It wasn’t unbearable but it wasn’t easy either. She left the basket in the small office area with a note to Andrea with what to do with them. She returned quickly, offering her hand to Joseph to take if he wanted. She didn’t need her medical tricorder to know that Joseph’s blood pressure and heart rate had been elevated when he’d arrived. With the trained eyes of a doctor she knew they were starting to come down, and she would make sure they kept coming down. Of course if they went up, it would be for a totally different reason. ‘Let’s go home, Imzadi.’ Those words bringing her quite a bit of peace and making her smile.
Lt jg Fayth, CSO