Posted by Fleet Captain Drudoc Andone (Commanding Officer) in Side Sim - Captain’s Quarters - Fayth Visiting
[snip]

”..The Discovery class ships are still useful in their roles, fast, decently armed for their scientific role, and well shielded they’re certainly a step up from older scientific purposed designs. Though I personally think they could do with a rebalancing of their profiles for maintenance, repair, and refitting needs.” Drudoc said taking a sip of her drink, which was a strong minty smelling iced tea.

Sharah smiled, cold tea. The scent of mint reminded her of Zarath, but he’d balk at the idea of iced tea. Tea was his answer for everything. “The Discovery class is certainly versatile. The first time I ever flew on a star ship it was a discovery class. The USS Galileo.”

To the last whispered bit she clearly caught it and added. “..How would you have hurt your friend?” She asked.

Drudoc Andone CO

Sharah looked away thinking. There were some things about Ashlyn she was restricted from saying. Looking back at the captain. “The previous counselor on the ship we served on felt that we were…she didn’t like that we had served our cadet tour together and then we were assigned to a new ship together and even bunked together. It certainly wasn’t our choice, or a request that we made. She also felt…I’m not sure. She had a very shielded mind, so I don’t know one way or the other, but our conversations always left me feeling like she thought I was dangerous.” She doesn’t exactly shrug. “It’s not a new concept to me. But my friends letter…she said the counselor doesn’t want her to talk to me anymore.”

”..Unless there is a medical reason a counselor or other serving officer wouldn’t be able to order such an event. Even if they did your friend could easily press and I would say win to have the order overturned.” Drudoc stated with a slight frown. “..To me that seems an abuse of their position and power as a medical and counseling officer.”

“As a doctor I would never do such a thing. The ability to connect with someone to have a support system is so central to a patient’s recovery. But I’m not a counselor.” She sips her water thinking. “Ashlyn made some misjudgments, and she told me she didn’t have anyone else to confide in. My understanding, from her letter, and I know she was upset and may not have been clear, is that the counselor wants her to find other sources of support since I left and now she’s alone. The counselor feels she relied on me too much, I guess.”

”..I suppose I can see what you’re saying. During my....grieving period after my husband’s death.....both times.” She said with a faint sigh glancing to the memorial projector on the shelf a second with a side glance before returning her focus to Fayth. Drudoc’s emotions were cool, controlled, but chaotic in a swirl given her words, though clearly she had training at shielding her thoughts and emotions. Likely this was due to her time on Vulcan for 5 years during the early 2380s while in the Federation-Star Empire officer exchange program between the fleets before it got shut down in 2384. “..my own aggrievement counselor told me something similar. That I didn’t rely on people to express my emotions more to allow myself to feel sadness and to cope. To a point she was right, I did close off people in both periods of mourning. It was only over time that I opened back up to others.” Drudoc explained.

”..Finding support from others can be difficult for some. Cultures, belief, personality, rank and positions, it all can clash in ways many outside that person can find difficult to grasp. But it is never a weakness to rely on others I have found in many painful forms and times. Sometimes its just one person, other times its more then one, but the point should be to find what works for you personally if you ask me..” Drudoc explained.

“See, Ashlyn was an orphan and we got very close. We both have unique....medical concerns and we helped each other.” She pauses. “I don’t mean to be vague. I know some things about her because I was her doctor and because of that I can’t divulge without her permission. But it was…good for us. We could be ourselves without worrying about the consequences if we were bunked with a stranger. She’s had a hard time adjusting since I left. And now…” Sharah trails off. She loves being on Ark Angel. But she is carrying a lot of guilt and worry about it.

En Fayth, Science

”..Have you or she considered requesting a personal medical transfer? If the two of you are close as you say and can medically help each other perform well for the assignments you undertake I would be again surprised if such a request was denied and if it was not be able to have it overturned..” Drudoc said.

Sharah considered it. “We could. I’m not sure that Ashlyn would. She wants to go into Intelligence. She’s wanted it for…most of her life. She’s brilliant, Captain. She sees things in ways others can’t or don’t. She picks up information like we breathe air. I think she’d be afraid requesting such a transfer would ruin her chances at that. Plus..” she looks down at her hand and the ring there. “I think she might fee like a third wheel eventually. She needs to see her own purpose, her own worth.” The truth of that statement and how it applies to herself is not lost on her.

”..Having spent time among Starfleet’s Intelligence branch myself and having my younger sister in it too. I can understand to a point what you’re saying. Intel requires a high level of thought process and dedication, but showing weakness or lacking there of actually could hurt her chances if that’s where she truly wishes to go.” Drudoc said sipping her tea. “..One of the key areas is knowing your own strengths and weaknesses. Not being able to admit those is often a disqualifier in itself in many sectors of its work.”

Sharah nodded, “We were working on that together. See, Ashlyn knows her strengths and weaknesses. But they manifest in unique and brilliant ways. I mean, I guess I see it better than anyone else. I can hear it all, and I see how her mind works. She’s very open about it all. But this last counselor seemed to have made up her mind before she ever met Ashlyn, or me for that matter. The CMO, he used to do that type of work. He’s actually been teaching her. She’s done really well, and he’s brutaly honest. So if she can’t stand up to it he’ll knock her back. I have no experience with that kind of work, but I understand what you are saying.”

”..Still I feel you’re feeling like this is your fault somehow? I’m no counselor by any stretch, Ensign, but to me it seems unduly placed guilt and worry in this event.” Drudoc added. Her voice took on a softer tone, one given to comforting others and being approachable. Not the harder more disciplined tone she likely used day to day while on duty. She clearly was trying to put Fayth at ease on some level.

Drudoc Andone

Sharah nods. “I know it’s not really my fault. I didn’t do anything but be her friend.” She looks around again, more into the past than the room. “I’m used to being accused of doing things that are disgusting because of my gift. People accuse others for things they don’t understand. I know Ashlyn made a mistake. She doesn’t trust many, and she’s come so far since we boarded Challenger. She has few close friends and when she was struggling after I left she didn’t talk to anyone. That’s on her, I know that. But I feel guilty that Ashlyn is left there to be blamed for something that…I didn’t force her to be my friend. I didn’t influence her, and I hate that now that I’m gone, they are convincing her that she was wrong, that she made a mistake to trust me and to actually have a friend. The hypocritic oath says to harm none, physically or mentally.”

En Fayth, Science

”..It seems to me you didn’t break that oath in any form. Unless I missed my mark you, indeed, were able to help your friend heal. So again I would say your sense of failure or the like is misplaced. No?” She questioned with a tilt of her head.

Drudoc Andone CO

There is a little bit of steel in Sharah’s voice and in her eyes. Just a flash though, quickly gone, “I didn’t break my oath.” She takes a deep breath, “I feel like someone else has. I’ve lived through it. Especially with counselors. They mean well, but they want to fix you into what they think is the better version of yourself, rather than listening. As her previous doctor, and more as her friend, I know how far she has come. It is wearing on the body and the mind to constantly be told you are wrong, the wrong version of yourself.” Sharah has a lot of first hand experience with that. And it would occur to Drudoc that maybe it wasn’t guilt that it was her fault, but a strong sense of family and need to protect those she cares about that is causing her guilt. “And I guess, Captain, for me, it just reminds me of how far the Federation has not come. That despite spouting off our ideals of seeking out new life and civilizations, we still cannot accept those around us that are different. I’m different, Ashlyn is different. And rather than accept us as we are, to allow us to contribute in a way that uses our strengths we are seen, at best, as a nuisance, and at worst, a threat.”
En Fayth, Science