Good animals of the PDept,

Thanks to the Public Nuisance of STF becoming the new CO of the Connie, a stocktake of the passengers and crew of the comedy ship has been taken and it has been determined that it is not silly enough!
Consequently, the following positions are being sought:

1 Chief Engineer - the current CE went on a rampage recently on board the Connie with a large club and wrecked replicators, holodecks, sickbay, the CTO’s office and more. He was promoted to Captain as a result by Fleet and Starfleet command. A replacement CE is needed for our Mythology class vessel as a result.

2 Chief of Jello Operations - primarily responsible for ensuring our Jello cannons are loaded and ready for operation at a moment’s notice. During down times in the need for Jello to be fired, this officer will be seconded to either engineering or security as a JO.

3 Chief of Waste Management - a starship with 900 crew, their families, an arboretum, as well as an ox, serval, cricket, owl, tribble and AJ on board is going to develop a lot of waste products that need managing. After an initial 6 weeks trial, the CWM is promoted (instead of using their hands, they get cleaning equipment to use). The CWM is seconded to either Medical or Science when their Waste Management duties allow.

4 JOs - all departments (especially engineering) could do with targets for the jello cannons … I mean JOs … and they can double as the Chief of other vital, but overlooked, starship departments. Take a look at the specs for the mythology class and see if anything captures your imagination.

5 Something else? - a civilian? a horta exchange officer? A sword swallowing expert being held in the brig for mistaking the king of the sentient swords of Mediavel VI for a non sentient sword and swallowing him by mistake? An ex pirate’s parrot called Eric? Something even crazier? Let us know and by us I mean Crazy Cog and Crazier Tribble, and we’ll talk further.

Crazily yours,
Russell “Tribble” Watt
CO USS Constellation,
Infinite Fleet
“I’m crazier than you, crazier than you”