Read this version, not the other one.

Adam

Posted by Adam W. in Animal Naming Ceremony - Louis Harvatt
It was a beautiful sunny day at the savannah and all the animals were gathering together near the watering hole as was their custom. A bumblebee floated through the air happily buzzing about. A border collie ran around in circles oddly chasing her own tail. The gorilla reclined on an enormous pile of bananas he had collected for himself. A turkey pecked away at the ground. The German shepherd ran around with a stick in its mouth and a wombat did, well, whatever it is exactly that wombats do. All the animals were in a good mood and living in harmony with one another. They weren’t even trying to eat one another.

Into the savannah waltzed the newest animal to join them in the savannah. “Look, a unicorn!” exclaimed the calico at the sight. The zebra looked on stoically, rather unimpressed. “Um, actually it’s called a rhinoceros,” explained the ever-helpful panda in between bites of bamboo.

Suddenly the earth shook, and this time it did so more powerfully than when it typically did when the beaver caused a tree to fall over. Lightning flashed and a booming voice thunderously spoke out of nowhere. The kangaroo hopped to safety and the koala scurried up a tree. All the animals fled for their lives except for the cockroach, who fully expected to survive a nuclear blast, and the meerkat, who seemed fairly content to mind his own business and ignore that he even was an animal.

The source of the danger quickly became apparent. It was DJ Tadpole with his sound equipment on full blast with his strobe light and disco ball. “Attention all members of the animal kingdom! The kiwi has an announcement.”

The kiwi hopped up toward the microphone, nearly tripping over the tribble he almost didn’t see in the process. “Ladies and gentlebeasts, it is time once again for a time honored tradition that we have, to welcome a new animal to our midst. Louis Harvatt is to transform into…wait, we don’t know what animal he will be yet. Rhinoceros, as the latest animal it is your mission, should you choose to accept it, to ask an animal of great wisdom what the proper animal name should be. Take the serval and the komodo dragon with you and report back to us, so the ceremony can be completed.

So the three animals journeyed off together, the komodo dragon sticking out its tongue ridiculously as they went. The serval spotted a mouse and ended up chasing it. The rhinoceros and the komodo dragon quickly followed. The mouse suddenly vanished down a hole, but the three animals found themselves at the ocean. The dolphin played in the water and the salmon splashed about. “We have a question for you,” began the rhinoceros.

“Forty-two,” answered the dolphin oddly. “So long, and thanks for all the fish.” With that the dolphin suddenly vanished into the depths of the ocean.

“Uh, what he meant was we’re looking for an animal of great wisdom to help us find out what animal Louis should turn into,” explained the komodo dragon.

“Try going to the very middle of the forest,” suggested the salmon. And so the three animals journeyed on. Before they got very far, they stumbled across a turtle. “Mr. Turtle,” began the serval, “do you know any animals with wisdom in the middle of the forest?” The turtle shrugged. “I’ve never made it to the center. But I suggest try asking the owl.” The rhinoceros’s eyes lit up. “That must be the animal the salmon was sending us towards! The wise owl!”

WIth newfound excitement and hope of bringing their task to completion, the three animals rumbled and galloped their way deeper into the woods. Eventually they found the animal they were searching for! The owl stood tall, perched on a branch.

“Wise owl,” shouted the komodo dragon. “We’ve been searching for an animal with great wisdom to help us determine what animal the latest human to join us should transform into.”

“Who?” replied the owl. “Louis Harvatt,” answered the serval. “Ah, Louis. You’ll need to find an animal with extreme intelligence to come up with just the perfect animal name for Louis, with wisdom even beyond my own. You don’t just seek any animal to help you with your quest.” “But where will we find such an animal Wise Owl?” asked the rhinoceros. “In the jungle. Continue on. You will find him there.”

So the animals, who had great excitement that their task was nearly complete, pressed onward. They passed through the the desert and then plains, finally arriving at the jungle. Much to their surprise they found an incredibly lucrative tourist trap theme park called Bananarama. “What is a place like this doing in the jungle?” the serval asked.

Swinging down from some vines, the chimpanzee appeared and walked on all fours towards them. “Can I interest you in some tickets? Normally it’s ten dollars a piece, but I’ll give you a deal and let the three of you in for forty dollars.”

“No thanks,” said the komodo dragon, sticking her tongue out farther than really should be possible. “But perhaps you can help us.” The rhinoceros stepped forward. “You see, chimpanzee, we have ventured a great distance to find you. We need the help of a wise animal to determine what animal Louis Harvatt should become.”

“Ah, Louis,” began the chimpanzee sagely. “Not just any animal name would fit Louis perfectly. But you came to the right primate, because I know just the one that will.” The komodo dragon, the serval, and the rhinoceros listened with great curiosity, wondering what the result of their quest would entail. The chimpanzee continued on. “The defining characteristic Louis has is his seemingly boundless energy and his animal name must reflect that.” The chimpanzee then whispered to the three animals what Louis should become and ran off to continue managing his profitable business.

The animals hurried back, through the jungle, the plains, the desert, the forest, and the ocean shoreline, eventually returning to the savannah, having brought back the wise owl on their return trip. The long journey had taken enough time that all the animals had fallen asleep. “We’re back. And we’ve found out the perfect animal name for Louis!” shouted the rhinoceros.

Stirring awake the kiwi asked, “Well, what is it?”

Wise owl flew towards the microphone. “Bring forth Louis,” she requested. The tasmanian devil and the tiger escorted Louis towards the stage. “Louis Harvatt, you shall be henceforth known as the ruby-throated hummingbird!” With that Louis as we knew him vanished and transformed into the tiny bird, flapping his wings with great speed and flying backwards, because he could.

Adam W.