I know that this is tactless and tacky and goes against Joe’s request here: https://www.star-fleet.com/core/command/command/posts/207422/ but I think that this is something that needs to be said in public and actioned without delay.

I think NE Redshirt needs a commendation and a promotion to NC (Nameless Captain) Yellowshirt for the amount of trouble they have gotten into over the years in service to the club and at the tender mercies of our GM Missions, Self Missions, Side Sims and Player Run Sims.

NE Redshirt has served faithfully across many many years, on numerous starships, stations, planets, ground based facilities, and what have they gotten for their troubles? Blown to smithereens, Eaten by things with more teeth than the entire STF Zoo, frozen solid, turned to goo, beaten to an inch of their life, mistaken for a good for nothing foe of the Federation, forced to listen to me post song lyrics, picked up weird objects that appear in the transporter room that no sane individual would touch, and many more that I have forgotten (but which maybe others can recall and list) and remained at the rank of Ensign for longer than Harry Kim and other ‘forever’ Ensigns combined.

So given, the local chronometer has just ticked past the 7th hour on this first day of the 4th month of the year 2023 AD (It couldn’t be BC, anyway nothing much was happening in 2023 BC, well not in Starfleet, year sure, in Egypt or Sumeria, but the point is, I’m using a computer and I doubt they had computers back in Ancient Egypt or Sumeria) I fully commend NE Redshirt for their long service to the club and strongly recommend that the outgoing President promotes NE Redshirt to NC Yellowshirt.

Thank you all, may the odds be ever in your favour (unless you prefer the evens, of course) and may my fellow STFians get behind this commendation and promotion recommendation and treat it with the attention and urgency it so richly deserves. I mean think of poor NE Redshirt, won’t someone think of the NE?

Yours
Russell JK Watt, ESQ
Official Public Nuisance of STF
Tribble,
Holder of the Golden Carrot of Carrotism until the Bunny returns to reclaim it,
Voted Cadet most likely to trash his ship’s holodeck with a replicated club
Dated (no I haven’t) April 1 2023 AD at 07:09 (AM)