Posted by Abigail G in Taking Personal Responsibility in Roleplaying
It’s a new year and maybe time for a new you. Today’s write-up is one that’s been on my mind the past few days. I believe this topic is an important one. Many people start their new years by creating new goals and by reflecting upon the past year. So, why not have the same apply to roleplay?

The other day I was roleplaying on Final Fantasy XIV. In the game I would open my apartment and create an advertisement so that whoever felt like dropping by could find me. Usually people come by to chat out of character or pass time while waiting for content. On this particular night several people dropped by and we were having fun chatting about the game and life in general. Then someone new came in. We will call this person Blade because he roleplayed as a knight who had sworn an oath to a lady. Blade was in character from the moment he came in and remained in character the whole time he remained in my apartment. Me and the other players were amused by this and one player began to roleplay back with him. The rest of us moved off to the side for some light roleplay and more general out of character talk.

Blade seemed to take his character and backstory very seriously. After some time he announced that he would be moving on and left. After he left, he privately messaged me. Here is my conversation with him:

Blade: “Yes, I know that I’m unwanted here”

Me: All are welcome in my home. Just as you are. Perhaps this night was not the best fit for you but maybe another will fit just right.

Blade: “Still think it wasn’t nice how I was treated by some here”
“So it’s not about fit”
(to be honest, I’m used to such things, go to places, get left out for no apparent reason, people be rude to me so it’s just another day, but once again, thanks for the hospitality, I still think it was messed up)

I did not reply to him after that last message. Why? From the moment he came into my home we engaged with him. Throughout the whole visit he had the singular attention of another player who decided to fully roleplay her character with him. Me and everyone else in the room knew what the issue was. He was upset because the other player did not engage with him the way he wanted his character to be engaged with. He was upset because the roleplay did not revolve around him. His final message to me made me angry. This person came into my home and threw a fit when the experience was not what he wanted it to be.

I would urge you to take a look at yourself. When you roleplay do you struggle to find plots? Do people start threads with you only to later ghost them? That no matter where you go you are constantly frustrated by other players or your IC interactions? Do you feel that no one ever engages with you the way you want them to engage with you? To quote a Taylor Swift song, perhaps you spent far too much time staring at the sun then in a mirror. Stop looking at other people and instead take a long hard look at yourself.

It’s time to take personal responsibility for yourself and your actions. I am a roleplayer of nearly 10 years. I do not struggle in finding plots or people to roleplay with. I’ve made many friends through roleplay and helped write many wonderful stories. If you can never find the roleplay experience you want then take a look at yourself and examine how you interact with others, and how you expect others to interact with you. I do not expect plots to revolve around my characters. Nor do I expect other people to go out of their way to engage with me.

If you want to roleplay then put in the work. If you want to write stories with other players then put in the work. Stop blaming everyone else and instead look at how you can change yourself. Finding roleplay partners should not be hard. All it takes is a willingness to work with people, be open and honest in your communications with your fellow players, show kindness to others and show respect for their time and effort.

Have a happy new year everyone

I agree with you 100%. I also have witnessed far too many members take their characters too seriously, in the sense that they’ve mapped out the past, present, and future. There’s no growth in that, and it’s no fun rping with someone who constantly says ‘oh my character would never do that…’ I recently had my CMO character fighting a plasma fire on the ship. Would that of happened on any ST show? Probably not, but it’s rp :) We’re here to have fun.

Ray