Ok, so this is my second time doing this because the last logged me out and I found I lost about an hours work of writing so crack his knuckles lets do it again!

Since work is slow and I’m feeling a little extra creative and we all know where that usually leads us ten ships joined, twenty new characters and all exams completed I decided hell lets do something different so Im going to review a Book, A Tv Series and a film with some honourable mentions and then a dishonrable mention! Ive even made up a rating! Which involve ten redshirts and how many im prepared to sacrifice and in a reference of the book, show or film.

So sit back, grab your preferred drink and delve into the wonderful world of my madness.

Das Book
The book I’m going to introduce you to has recently been made into a Netflix original and is called ‘Shadow and Bone’ which is part of the Grish-verse series by Leigh Bardugo. It follows our protagonist Alina Starkov a seemingly plain Jane in a chimera steam punk feel world with a very eastern vibe. Alina is from a state which has been torn in two by some black smoke which everyone seems terrified of crossing. There’s a social tier system which pretty much goes Poor, Royalty and Grisha and everyone hates the Grisha because they were blessed with ‘magic’ powers. The interesting thing is through this book they don’t like the word ‘magic’ and often refer back to science which I think is a nice touch by the writer. The story is gripping pretty much from start to finish and it wouldn’t be a modern dystopia book without some sort of love triangle so there’s that, at least it was dealt with better than twilight.

If you like dystopian books with a bit of spice and originality then this book is definitely for you, its got some interesting characters and a gripping storyline (if not then you could always watch the Netflix series which is equally just as good).

Shadow of Bone earns 7 Redshirts sacrificed trying to cross the fold

TV Series

For my TV Series I was extremely conflicted but given that series two has just come out and it’s a great re-write of an original classic I have decided to give this spot to Dinsey+’s War of the worlds. Unlike the BBC drama which was a bigger flop than Mortal Instruments: City of Bones film The latest rendition of War of the worlds is brilliant and modern. It follows several groups of survivors from the French Military in some large dish, a mother and children looking for their father, a father looking for his wife and children accompanied by a woman and son looking for… well not really sure TBH, and University Lecturer and his Ex-wife (yeah that’s ones kinda awkward) and some other people who don’t really need a mention.

Earth has been attached, (Duh) and the population reduced to nothing (but enough to make it interesting) and the survivors have to pick up the pieces and figure out just what the hell is going on. As the series moves along our groups slowly unravel the secrets while slowly crossing paths in one way or another. The only negative I have to say about this is that everyone who survived make some questionable decisions, I mean they did well surviving the attack and then they go do something dumb. There’s one scene where the British Army do something pretty questionable and I’m just left screaming at the tv. The consistency between what can and cant kill the enemy is AWOL, sometimes looking at them the wrong way work then others it takes wiping out half a block to make them annoyed, the enemy however is dangerously close to home and leaves me thinking whether we should just leave well enough alone.

That said its nice to see a War of the Worlds set in Modern times and in Europe not America where the aliens catch bird flu or something, (woo Lucky us) and the main characters having to pool their collective brain cells together to overcome the adversities of being killed by Aliens, Each other, random acts of death, disease and starvation. (really theres like one or two smart cookies in this show). So for these reasons im giving this 6 redshirts sacrificed by thinking a fridge will protect them.

Film
Ok I mean this was pretty much only going to be one winner, Blackwidow! Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow during the bit of grey time after Civil war where everyone forgot that the avengers were the only thing that stormed the entire world being enslaved by Loki and his army of Kree and big space whales. It starts with a bit of a flashback which at the time I was like what the hell is this insert meme of Leonardo dicaprio on the sofa pointing at the tv but as the film moves on at a great pace it soon clicks into place ALSO Screw you for making S.H.I.E.L.D. look bad!

Ghosts from her past begin to surface including a woman named Yelana who if im honest is the main reason this film is great, she gives me Jody Colmer vibes playing Villanel in Killing eve with a dose of Deadpool humour, honestly I could just was her all day. Anyway, Romanoff sits at a table with family, theres a pig and then theres bad guys and vodka drinking until the explosive end to the film, I honestly don’t want to write to much because really you should just go watch this film. For this reason it earns 9 redshirts sacraficed trialling the superhero serum in a Russian gulag

Honourable mentions
Staying on Marvel for a minute OMG fan girls Loki was possibly the best series to date Marvel has produced. I always said DC should stick to series and Marvel films but Marvel is a master at both. If you’re excited for Phase 4 Loki is a must see!

In a quite place 2 is also going to make the list because it and its predecessor are just out of this world, I remember watching the first in the cinema and refusing to eat popcorn because it was so silent and eery, if you’ve never watched something without the noise in a cinema then genuinely this film nails it because I was left on the edge of my seat not breathing at risk of being killed by the aliens.

Finally another Disney+ show is making the final cut, Starwars Bad Batch! I loved the Clone Wars and Rebels so I mean this was always going to be on my list but Dave Filoni bows in worship has single handily revived the Starwars universe from the disappointment of the last three films. Follow Clone force 99 with Wrecker, Crosshair, Echo, Hunter, Tech and Omega right as Order 66 Kicks off (Yep that’s right you gotta stomach that **** again. Honestly I swear they love making me feel like crying in every Starwars associated thing.

So for that these earn the rating of… “Make it so number 1”

*Dishounrable mention
Well summer time has hit the UK and the Euros is over with England falling at the final hurdle, still our boys did us proud! That however means one thing… Love Island. Yes Love Island for those who maybe have never heard (lucky you) of it Love Island see’s a group of undeservedly good looking men and woman enter a villa somewhere in Spain to find love (and a sponsorship deal with Boohoo or something). I looked at the success rate of couples staying together and it is like winning a ticket on the penis shaped rocket with Jeff bezos. Good ol’ Jeff. Anyway they do some pretty raunchy trials throwing food over each other dressed in as little as possible, go on dates and couple up all in the bid to find their one true love (in about a week or so sometimes just a few day) meanwhile necking off with the other islanders. Its really weird. Some bits are funny, the drama kinda feels forced especially when they’re getting jealous because joe bloggs is talking to Jane doe having coupled up with Jenny from the block 2 hours ago I mean… I wonder why this show doesn’t actually find you love. I must give a shout out to Jake and Liberty #Jiberty, they do actually seem to have some chemistry and will probably win the show or get voted out because the viewers only want to see drama not actual people finding love… again weird.

So for that this earns the rating off…… ** Resistance is futile** because honestly whenever I ask my partner to turn it off she refuses and within ten minutes ive put down my book and watching it because Male A is now with Female C and Female D is pieing Male A in a challenge having been dumped. Yeah… Love!

Well that’s it (Second attempt hopefully this actually loads.) I have no idea if this is a thing or if I’ll do it again, maybe I’ll do a game review or something anyways for that I give this whole thing the rating off… The Riker Manoeuvre in reverse Pulls his groin

Jake