Time to finally get in my review for this. I’ll be trimming the post wherever no detailed comments are required.

(SNIP)

Change Log:

-Corrected grammar mistakes throughout description
-Specified XO position on Bridge
-Added Intelligence Office Description
-Added Intelligence Office to deck layout
-Specified landing bay access

I’ll be focusing on these key areas for this review, as the previous iteration already had the other aspects discussed.

BRAZEN-CLASS
CATEGORY: DESTROYER
VARIANT: ESCORT
DESIGNER: Ray Branch
Mark II
Draft 1
DATE: 6 April, 2020

HISTORY AND MISSION OVERVIEW

(SNIP) This is basically the same as the original; this is good.

STRUCTURE AND CONSTRUCTION

(SNIP) No major changes here.

SCIENCE AND REMOTE SENSING SYSTEMS

(SNIP) Okay.

WARP PROPULSION SYSTEM

(SNIP) Okay.

IMPULSE PROPULSION SYSTEM

(SNIP) Okay.

TACTICAL SYSTEMS

(SNIP) Okay.

COMMAND AND SUPPORT SYSTEMS

-MAIN BRIDGE

(SNIP) Okay.

The Captain’s chair is located directly in the center of the bridge with a guard rail that forms a half circle behind the chair. Built into the guard rail, directly behind the Captain’s chair, is the mission specialist’s console which can double as the First Officer’s station. Centered halfway between the Command chair and the viewscreen is the combined Helm/Navigation station. Facing forward on the starboard side of the Bridge is the Chief Engineer’s station and facing forward on the port side of the Bridge is the Chief Science Officer’s station.

I’m addressing this since it was one of the explicitly stated changes. I don’t mind the change, although it does allow for the possibility that the mission specialist is the XO. That’s actually an interesting possibility, if it ever comes into play in the club. Nice change.

(SNIP) Okay.

-INTELLIGENCE OFFICE

The Brazen has a dedicated Intel office on Deck 4, located next to the Security Office and detention cells. The office contains uplinks to ship sensors and has access to Starfleet Intelligence reports, which can only be accessed by an assigned Intel Officer or someone with a Level 10 security clearance.

I’m addressing this solely because it is a change to the ship. This is definitely an interesting custom space, and, given the more military nature of the Brazen, this is a good change to the overall vessel description.

(SNIP) Good.

UTILITY SYSTEMS

-CARGO BAYS

With external bay doors, the ship’s three cargo bays are equipped with two small cargo transporters (Cargo Bay A and C).

I know that it’s not something upon which you focused, but this sentence is problematic. The first part is either a comma splice or a misplaced modifier; it feels out of place in the rest of the sentence. I have a few ideas on how to fix that, but I will take suggested alternatives first.

The crew can also turn one of the Cargo bays into a Triage center or a larger science lab. The Cargo bay’s upper level is located on deck 2 and its lower level is on deck 3.

The second sentence needs to be changed to either, “Each cargo bay’s upper level is locate on deck 2 and its lower level is on deck 3.” or, “The cargo bays’ upper levels are located on deck 2 and their lower levels are on deck 3.”

Due to the nature of some of its missions, the Brazen Class starship is capable of operating for 18 months without being resupplied.

(SNIP) Okay.

CREW SUPPORT SYSTEMS

(SNIP) Okay.

-COUNSELOR’S OFFICE

While not always assigned, Starfleet thought that a Counselor could serve as a de facto moral officer, along with their psychology role, on longer missions.

That would be “morale officer”.

(SNIP) Okay.

AUXILIARY SPACECRAFT SYSTEMS

The Brazen Class can hold two shuttle craft. Due to the size of the landing bay, which is located on the port and starboard of Deck 1 (There are two entrances), only shuttles at or under ten meters in length or 6 meters in width are able to be used.

I’m assuming that you mean “external entrances”. You can probably state that it is on deck 1, and has external entrances to port and starboard.

Given the landing bay’s location, access is only achievable by using turbolifts or jefferies tubes. The ship comes standard with two Armadillo class shuttles.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

(SNIP)

-CREW COMPLEMENT
Officers and Crew: 70

Quick question: why does the armory have more Type II phasers in the armory than the entire size of the crew? I know that there was a discussion about it when this spec first was introduced, but I need a refresher.

Command: 5
Tactical/Security/Intel: 20
Science: 12
Medical: 12
Engineering/Operations: 20
Counseling: 1
Visiting Personnel: 6
Maximum Evacuation Limit: 160

(SNIP) Okay.

DECK LAYOUT

(SNIP) Okay.

SHIPS OF THE LINE

(SNIP) Okay.

CONCLUSION
The Brazen Class is the next generation destroyer escort. It is designed to handle long term covert missions into the heart of the Federation’s enemies. With its state-of-the-art technology, the Brazen class will be Starfleet’s key to remain the top power in the quadrant.

Ray Branch
06 April, 2020

Overall, this is a good, if minor, update. There are some aspects of the specification that I think need to be addressed, but they are minor compared to the overall document. The review remains open until 6 April 2020.

Nicholas Villarreal
Engineering Director