Engineering Department
Brazen class Mk II--Second Review
As this is a new version of an existing and in-use specification, I will focus upon substantive changes to the specification for this review.
Posted by Captain Katy Darrah (Engineering Director) in Brazen class Mk II–Second Review
The following submission is open for review for 2 weeks from today, closing on May 5, 2022Change Log:
-Corrected grammar mistakes throughout description
-Reworded cargo bay levels description
-Specified landing bay accessBRAZEN-CLASS
CATEGORY: DESTROYER
VARIANT: ESCORT
DESIGNER: Ray Branch
Mark II
Draft 3
DATE: 07 January 2020
Remember to update your submission date for new drafts, please. It makes the EDept look bad if it seems like we’ve waited over two years to post this for review. :-P
SNIP
COMMAND AND SUPPORT SYSTEMS
SNIP
-INTELLIGENCE OFFICE
The Brazen has a dedicated Intel office on Deck 4, located next to the Security Office and detention cells. The office contains uplinks to ship sensors and has access to Starfleet Intelligence reports, which can only be accessed by an assigned Intel Officer or someone with a Level 10 security clearance.
Uplinks typically send data offsite from a location, and in 21st century parlance, it’s called an “up link” because it’s sending it to a satellite or spacecraft. You may want to try “hard line links” or “direct data links”. Level 10 security clearance is definitely a good idea (commanding officer’s eyes only according to Voyager). Making ships which use the Brazen have a built-in swing position available is definitely an interesting change, but it fits with the overall theme of the specification.
SNIP
UTILITY SYSTEMS
-CARGO BAYS
With external bay doors the ship’s three cargo bays are equipped with two small cargo transporters (Cargo Bay A and C). The crew can also turn one of the Cargo bays into a Triage center or a larger science lab. Each cargo bay’s upper level is located on deck 2 and its lower level is on deck 3. Due to the nature of some of its missions, the Brazen Class starship can operate for 18 months without being resupplied.
Changing from “The” to “Each” is good. However, there’s still not enough clarity on how to get into these cargo bays. It’s obvious that there is a way to be in each cargo bay on either their upper or lower levels, but there is zero indication as to whether one can also access the cargo bays on each level.
SNIP
AUXILIARY SPACECRAFT SYSTEMS
The Brazen Class can hold two shuttle craft. Due to the size of the landingbaybays, whichisare located on the port and starboard side of Deck 1, only shuttles at or under ten meters in length or 6 meters in width can be used. Given thelanding bay’sbays’ location, access is only achievable by using turbolifts or jefferies tubes. The ship comes standard with two Armadillo class shuttles.
I cleaned up the grammar a bit, given that there are actually two shuttle areas on the ship. Given that the original specification seems to imply that each bay has two actual doorway access points, but the only other Deck 1 locations (the Bridge and connected offices) are only accessible via turbolift, the change in description for access was needed. Also, I would suggest that you consider the Opossum shuttle to replace the Armadillo, since it is an available option.
SNIP
DECK LAYOUT
-DECK 1
Main Bridge
Main Bridge Ready Room
Main Bridge Conference Room (10 seats)
ShuttleLandingsLanding Bays Port and Starboard
Shuttlebay Access
You established above that access to the Shuttle Landing Bays is direct via turbolift or via jeffries tubes. A separate access area is nonexistent in the description; it shouldn’t be listed in the deck plans.
SNIP
CONCLUSION
The Brazen Class is the next generation destroyer escort. It is designed to handle long term covert missions into the heart of the Federation’s enemies. With its state-of-the-art technology, the Brazen class will be Starfleet’s key to remain the top power in the quadrant.Ray Branch
07 January 2022
I know that this wasn’t quite an in-depth proof read, but I hope that this is helpful. These are some small changes, but they add some flavor to the spec, which is always a nice part of STF.
Nicholas Villarreal