Posted by Lieutenant Commander Janusz Korczak (Counselor) in Counselor’s office - Cadet Trenton Check In

Posted by Cadet Ashlyn Trenton (Security Officer) in Counselor’s office - Cadet Trenton Check In

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Janusz Korczak (Counselor) in Counselor’s office - Cadet Trenton Check In
Posted by… suppressed (5) by the Post Ghost! 👻
(Snip)
The Cadet shows a crack in her demeanor, at the mere mention of ‘family’ her jaw tightens and her eyes strain as if to fight back tears. She turned her face away for a moment and held up her index finger to request a pause. “Sorry, excuse me for a moment sir.” Trenton takes a deep breath and turns back to face the Counselor, “Sorry about that, I still have a few things I’m working through but I assure you they’ll have no impact on my ability to preform my duties.”

• Cadet Ashlyn Trenton

Korczak looked at her and gestured to the chair. “Now is a good time to talk about them, if you like. I will not be so arrogant as to say we can solve the issues. But I am confident that I can help you develop the tools you may need to address them productively.”

Korczak, CNS

Trenton looked at the chair for a long moment, considering if she should sit down or not. A strong part of her didn’t want to, but it was up to her to give a little to get anything in return. With another deep calming breath, she moved to sit in the chair once again. “Talking about my family is something I have to do with each counselor I’ve seen, and it is always the hardest. I can’t say everything I want to because of a gag order and what I can say doesn’t always convey everything which only hurts more because I really want help dealing with this. What I can share, they all passed on. I watched it happen. It makes me feel sadness, anger, confusion, and worst of all guilty. It’s compounded with a lack of a sense of belonging among peers that stay in constant contact with family. It’s a constant stabbing reminder when mail and care packages arrive because I know I’ll never have any. Even when in a room surrounded by peers, I still feel alone.”

Trenton takes a moment to wipe her face free of what emotions she was showing, trying to keep herself calm as she explained it. “The loss of my family is the biggest anchor point for a lot of the skeletons in the box, and I’m sure I’ll eventually reach them in time. Until then I try to work my way through more of the surface issues so I can work my way down to be able to deal with them. I currently use Creative Visualization and Compartmentalization to work on my demons in a more manageable format just to give you a basis of what I’m already using. I am open to suggestions that don’t involve me being chemically treated more than I already am.” The last part was meant to be a joke but it fell pretty flat.

• Cadet Ashlyn Trenton, Security

Korczak looked at her and said “You are aware, arent you, that no legal nondisclosure agreement can supersede doctor - patient confidentiality, dont you? As I am legally and ethically bound to not disclose anything you say here unless it threatens your life or the lives of others, you can say anything… and it stays right here. If it didn’t, this process wouldnt work very well, now would it?” and he smiled slightly. “So… say everything you want. Because no amount of counseling will be effective until you can begin the process of unburdening yourself.”

Korczak, CNS

Trenton covered her face with her hands and groaned, “My apologies sir, I tend to forget. A lot of people ask about my family and that tends to be my default answer.” She takes another deep breath and re-positioned herself on the chair by removing her boots so she could bring her knees up to hold onto. A defensive position of comfort when talking about these things, it’s an odd habit to hold onto. “I was twelve when everything went wrong, I saw my neighbors talking to a couple of Starfleet officers and pointing at our house. We were promptly raided shortly after that and arrested, for what reason to this day I still don’t know. The new governor of Makoa III was looking for something my dad had, what it was I don’t know. All I do know is my father’s resistance was met with execution of family members. I know the official report to the Federation stated they died in accidents, but I know they didn’t. I watched them all die, each week, without remorse or mercy. I can describe in brutal detail every act committed, but I’ll spare you the nightmares. My father helped me escape before his, rather public, execution.

After that, I spent four years barely surviving on what I could steal. Any time I got caught resulted in more harm, more assaults, more…abuse. I was rescued by Security Chief Adam Craxton of the Constance after he caught me raiding their emergency rations. I can’t tell you how many regulations he broke to do it, but if not for him I wouldn’t be here at all. I’m still haunted by their deaths, every so often my dreams like to remind me about how they died which tends to limit restful sleep. I do see the doctor for my regular medication so the sleep is well managed, but there isn’t a lot I can do about the memories. I keep telling myself that it’s only so bad because I don’t have any evidence of it, even their death records were falsified to discredit any attempt to report them. It’s just a really messy situation that I do my best to live with.” Trenton was clearly done talking about it, taking another deep breath and putting her shoes back on before settling into a normal sitting position though clearly more relaxed.

• Cadet Ashlyn Trenton

Korczak looked at her intently for a few moments and then said quietly “Cadet… I need you to be clear and frank with me. Are you saying that your family was executed by Star Fleet officers on order of the Federation? And you said something about a ‘gag order’. Order from who?” His voice was low, almost conspiratorial, and there was a level of concern that he expressed that was far above the norm.

Korczak, CNS

Trenton leaned forward and held up a halting hand to lead into her clarification for the Counselor. “My family was executed by people in Starfleet Uniforms. The guards that abused me were in Starfleet uniforms. I was twelve at the time and I do now realize that the men and women in those uniforms may not have actually been a part of the Federation or Starfleet for that matter. I can only recite what I know, and what I know is that they were wearing Starfleet uniforms. The Gag Order itself came from Lieutenant Commander Adam Falkner of Starfleet Intelligence Investigations Division. He didn’t want a potential leak that there was an investigation going into the corruption of fringe worlds. So he made it very clear, as graphically scaring for a traumatized sixteen-year-old as possible what would happen should the investigation fail. Complete with video recordings of the things he was describing when the leak was inevitably sent home after the failed investigation. Which is why ‘don’t talk about it’ is the more natural answer.” Ashlyn shifted awkwardly on the seat, trying to find a better position. “Before you ask, no I won’t tell you what was on the video he showed me. Let’s just say ‘inappropriate for all ages, viewable only by consenting adult’ comes to mind as a disclaimer before the images followed up with a great deal of pixelation that doesn’t stop you from wanting to vomit. In fact, I think I did.” Trenton shivers a little remembering the horrible images of the video.

• Cadet Ashlyn Trenton

Korczak was a consummate professional. Rarely did he show any strong reaction, and hardly ever did he react with anything approaching anger.

This time his face was most certainly not passive. It was plainly angry. “Excuse me for a moment, Cadet.” and he stood and went to his desk. He tapped a few commands into the interface and said plainly “I am requesting the full file on your background, Cadet. Do not worry. I am not going through Star Fleet. I have not always worn this uniform, after all. Now…” and he looked at her. “It has been over a decade. A simpleton can complete such an investigation in a quarter of that time.” and he sat back down. “The weight you operate under will be of severe detriment to you going forward. I will strive to alleviate you of that weight in the near future. I cannot promise that it will happen during your time here, but I can tell you that you will not receive any repercussions from my request. That I can guarantee with absolute certainty.”

Korczak, CNS

Ashlyn was surprised by his change in expression, but not so much the desire to obtain her file. Every counselor she had worked with had sought her background files, which are not difficult to obtain for the most part, and the investigation files, which were far more difficult to obtain due to being Starfleet Intelligence Investigation data. She always appreciated their desire to look into it, but it never seemed to do more than burden the counselor and leave her with a sense that they were holding something back. At least this time it would be before a relation was better established and she wouldn’t really detect the change in their approach. She just hoped the files wouldn’t damage her potential for progress on this ship. “I appreciate your care and assistance, and as always I’m happy to learn more effective or efficient ways of dealing with the traumas of my past.”

((OOC: As soon as I finish typing up the ‘records’ I’ll email them to you to prevent spoilers for others.))

• Cadet Ashlyn Trenton, Security