Posted by Cadet Sharah Fayth (Doctor) in Side-sim Second Chance Dinner

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Joseph Rainns (Incoming Chief of Security) in Side-sim Second Chance Dinner

Posted by Cadet Sharah Fayth (Doctor) in Side-sim Second Chance Dinner

(snip)

Rainns shook his head, “Don’t apologize, I’m grateful that you helped me learn more about myself and I love that we have the intimacy to explore each other’s minds, I still can and want to continue to do that. You are not and will never be, the cause of my unhappiness.” Joseph eyed the bowls, “I’ve never had this before,” he said, “let’s see how it goes.” He could tell as she got the bowls something was troubling her. “What’s the matter?” he asked in a concerned tone.

L.T. J.G. Joseph Rainns- COS

And there was the crux of the matter, “Joseph, I” she sat down next to him moving her chair a little closer. She hadn’t tried to directly speak with telepathy to anyone since she woke up. Not there was anyone on board other than Joseph. She knew the closer she was the easier it would be. “My greatest fear has been that I would really hurt someone, someone I care about…” she didn’t know exactly how to put it into words, “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to put it into words.” He had said he wanted to continue to share each other’s minds. She gently reached out to allow him to know, if he choose.

There were many things adding to her solemness. She knew that they wouldn’t have this intimate relationship if she hadn’t been sick. If she hadn’t been she would never have replied to him using telepathy and then they wouldn’t be here, the ‘ifs’ went on. Her overwhelming fear that she’s had since she was old enough to understand what was different about herself was a huge aching paralyzing black ball of fear she carried. She shared her joy of his acceptance. The attraction, and something more that she wasn’t ready to investigate too much. Then his revelation that she had turned his life upside down, when he had confessed the headaches to her. She was happy that it lead to him to learn more about himself, but the idea that instead of learning about his heritage it could have gone very wrong. She had not been safe or stable to be around and he…she had risked his life, his mind, because she was sick and unable to function, and she never knew. And then the fear rose up again that she could have lost him before she knew him. The ‘what ifs’ were her greatest enimy.

She sighed a little and spoke into his mind, ‘you mean to much to me to regret all this happening, but you mean too much for me to not regret the risk I placed you in.’

Cadet Fayth, Doctor

Joseph accepted her reach and took in what she was trying to convey. He saw her gratitude, guilt and pleasure. The ominous black ball in her mind looked scary, but he knew it was just a visual representation of her fear of being alone and misunderstood. He allowed to soak in. ‘The risk is over, and you didn’t hurt me, there’s nothing to regret’ he thought reassuringly. ‘No matter what happens, I’ll always be able to understand you, and that wouldn’t have happened without your sickness. That’s a blessing, please don’t be ashamed or upset.’ He reached out his hand and took hers. ‘Everything is ok now.’

L.T. J.G. Joseph Rainns- COS

She closed her eyes smiling slightly, ‘that is easier thought than done. The fear will always be a part of who I am. It’s what gives me the will to be stronger than this gift.’ She held onto his hand a little tighter and nodded. She was mentally tired now. Not too bad, but she choose to speak outloud, “Okay,”she agreed, “everything is okay now.” She started eating her desert. She didn’t know if he would like it, but she loved it. Orange, lime, and raspberry sherbet. “Tell me you’ve had a more interesting week than me. I’ve been stuck in here most of the time, no duty shift yet and ‘limited activity.’”
Cadet Fayth, Doctor

Rainns took a bite, it wasn’t his favorite dessert, but it was fine. “My week has probably just been about as boring as yours, wrote my report on the incident, and then it was business as usual, I’ve got two new cadets that have come in, and I’m going to be running a training exercise in a few weeks most likely. He stopped eating for a moment and starred out the window at the stars as the ship flew past them. “I want to make a real mark in starfleet, and I always thought that once I became an officer that would become easy, but I’m just more or less writing all the time, which I don’t mind, I just can’t do anything great that way.” He turned to look at Sharah, “my biggest fear is that I will die in obscurity, and that ten years after the fact, nobody will even know I existed, I know that’s a silly fear and I have lofty ambitions, but right now I can’t help but feel I’m just wasting time on this ship.”

LT JG Joseph Rainns- COS